Day 3, nope it’s officially night, hell i don’t know.?…I’m still in the valley of no sleep, last night being worse than ever, I should warn you now I rhink, i can barely focus,let alone spell or string more than two words together at any one time, so this is your polite notice, this could indeed get very very weird fast and not quite so polite. I’ve also have had a veritable feast of caffeine in my defense, more than is wise most likely, but when ones head refuses to co operate it call,s for desperate measures, ( I’m sure once it hits my stomach I’m going to really regret this !) . It was on my second caffeine laced brew that I get a message that I can look forward to receiving my new housemate by friday, ( my new housemate being of the very very cute fluffy butt variety , ok a bunny ) I’m getting a baby bunny 😁😁😁😁awwwww, so before my new arrival , I need of course , water bottles, feed bowl,s , food, arghhhhh,) I did though spend a pleasant interlude trawling Amazon buying all my new bunnies needs and much he doesn’t , making yet more coffee for shopping we all know to shop is thirsty work….
The minute I hit that pay button, I remember I was going to avoid online shopping for the week, guilt begins to kick straight in, and like any dieter indulging in that large delicious slice of moist chocolate cake, I feel sick at once, I try to justify my mistake, I needed things for my Rabbit right? , And in fairness I did, ( you can’t just go take and it from local per shops shops , they frown upon this still I believe, but I was still angry at myself , I had lasted all of three days, And I suppose I could have not mentioned it and gone on as before, but frankly this isn’t me!, Laying back against my pillow depression reared its ugly head, once again I had failed, .my inner bully made free with its taunts of loser!!!!! In my over tired sleep deprived brain, “See knew you wouldn’t stick at it”, ( I did indeed make a boob, a muckup, I had once again failed) …..doesn’t help i,m fighting off a fever, and I have what I can only describe as the feeling of a sandworm( tremors) eating it’s way slowly through my right ear trying hopelessly to locate a brain or at least a few stray cell,s, stinky gunk slides out and makes its way down neck, I dammed this up quick smart with a nice wad of tissue aka an earplug, and lay sadly in my fleece covered bed starring into space 😁.
This has though lead to some very interesting conversation,s with Jesse, he has, I know ! Been his usual polite gentlemanly self , but with one bunged ear and the other facing away from him, Its given cause for me to give him some very odd looks , At one stage he said( I think) ” I might shut my eyes for a while”, ( I heard I’ve been worried about its size for a while, ( I look up slowly from what I had been doing, dubiously not quite knowing what I may see, only to see him rubbing his tired half shut eyes and the truth dawn,s, ) folks i,m so glad I held my tongue😁,
An hour later, I raised my tired achy self, birds are hanging out along the fence looking in my bedroom window , they are begining to look a little too hungry ! And I worry will a passing sparrow try to fly off with one of my young neighbours outside playing or the yappy little dog that screams outside several times a day. For the good of all, I grab fat balls😉, bread, fruit, and seed and brace myself to let the cold air hit my still nightshirt covered body, it was indeed cold but delicious on my feverish skin ..after tackling the birds, feeding a late fed and very irate Cinnamon bun, I get my self into the bathroom to wash, I throw on the first t shirt I can get my hands on, it’s a black shirt Jesse bought me a while back at the Los Lonely boys concert, I’m at once glad of it,s big black baggy comfort, the memory is like a hug , it surrounds me like arms had many times when I felt upset, I often wear a shirt of Jesse’s or one he bought me when I feel un well or upet, it’s hard feeling ill while alone, but instantly covered in its fresh washed smell and warmth of a memory I don’t feel so alone.
Earlier I compared my shopping addiction to dieting and falling off the wagon , and that’s when it hit me, I did indeed slip , but just like that dieter i,m going to stop being so bloody self indulgent in my misery and carry right on where I left off, I have though stuck to sitting in my candle/ fairy lit room,. I’ve only eaten store cupboards foods, and resisted buying any number of things ,while buying things for my Rabbit friend, it nearly happened in a moment of weakness , but I emptied my basket and signed out quick……..tomorrow is indeed though another day .
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 