Three little birds and rude awakening.

It is I believe a Tuesday, although if you asked me to swear on this, you know I really couldn’t or wouldn’t , . Yet another night of just four hours very broken sleep, I say night this was by now 7:30am , I’m well passed that overly tired bench mark,in fact I’m even passed tired, hallucinations, tears, are as dust, I’m now on autopilot, I’ve seen over tired ,waved to it goodbye and I’m well on my way back, …this is what comes of an active mind, I lay my head down, And it decide,s its the moment to ask a thousand un important questions , like a small child asking it’s parent Why!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

Have you ever been in that semi comatose state? , where you let your brain talk you into all manner of good things?, Well for me it’s a regular occurrence.Today’s fun was” let’s transfer our land lady her rent money, ” fun fun fun, . Well yesssss, unless your sleep addled brain is in charge that is ! , everything worked out so well in theory mmmhmmm, Then I go and try to put it into practice , I’ve had no coffee, my mouth feels like a sandbox, ( used by half the neighbourhood tom cats) my heads full of last night’s questions dancing round like worms in an Apple ) but I’m up for the challenge anyhow,

I manage to get up my bank on my tablet, this in itself is indeed a minor miracle , I congratulated myself whole heartedly and then set about the next level, which is my passwords., can I remember the pass, ? . The one that the nice lady at my bank insisted had to be so many letters, continent,s ,vowels, nouns, adverbs and numbers to prevent anyone figuring it out, I can’t remember my own name at 7 am much less a complicated pass , but with a will of iron, ok sheer stubbornness I manage this mammoth task, not only managing but i,m excelling Baby!!!!!!, I’m on a roll, the world is indeed my lobster, I can now go on and do the actual transfer, all this before coffee, ……I conclude this days banking activities, turn off my tablet , lay back on my memory foam neck pillow, in hopes, I may drift off for an hour at the very least, when suddenly my head pings into action, did you finalise that, ? Are you sure? ..I don’t remember seeing that flashing big all singing , all dancing success notice,

So now I’m up and awake, ( which is indeed clever considering I hadn’t slept) ..I pick up my tablet, do the whole sign in thing againnnnnn!!!!! And begin to check my accounts, as of yet nothing has left it, but I think logically and clearly ( I can do this) And decide to wait a couple of hours , try to get some sleep and come back this afternoon. I then decide to go and wash, clean up the mess in my kitchen from the night before , but first I need food!!!!, It’s one of the rare occasions I’m actually hungry , not only hungry my stomach growls protesting the lack of attention, I step out onto the freezing flooring barefoot , (I’m always barefoot I hate shoes on my feet) check out the cupboards to see if I have a half fresh crust or anything halfway edible, first thing I picked up was a bagel, one lone bagel left in its wrapper ….I spot the delicious tart blackcurrant jam and plan my feast, do I do butter first or just jam? These are very important decisions folks, not to be taken lightly yah know, I put the kettle on while I think this through thoroughly.

Kettle on , mouth watering I retrieve my prized bagel from its packet, as I do the bottom fall,s from my sleep deprived world, it either has decided to join me in the delight that is Covid rashes but in an attractive shade of green, or this is indeed the dreaded mould, …I’m not normally fussy and would have cut this off and still are it, ( oh don’t all look disgusted you’ve all done it) but this was covered, I promise I don’t leave things for weeks , this was just surprising just days, so it’s back to the drawing board, I rifle through the cupboards and find some bread, aha I’m having bread and jam, but first I’m taking the offending bagel out to feed the birds,

As I pass my bed I grab two greasy fat ball,s( this is not some hint at my sex life or there very lack of) it’s fat mixed with seed rounded into balls for birds, I take out some seed too, forgetting i,m only in my nightshift and shorts, but this is quickly forgotten as I’ve been spotted by a line of very hungry birds, they are sitting just feet away , two sparrows and a wren all waiting for me to dispense breakfast, I break up the bagel, the fat ball,s ,which despite being made of reused fat are rock solid and Grosse , ( but birds luv em) I’m engrossed in the job at hand, so much so I don’t feel the chill, or indeed the digging sharp broken gravel under foot, .I also don’t notice my neighbour watching out his window, till too late!!!!!!, ( I’m still only in my nightshirt,

Birds fed , breakfast made of bread and jam, coffee in my thermos cup, i,m by now frozen and dive back into fleece covered bed to enjoy slowly my repast , while I eat I long to trawl the world of Amazon, for all those things I think I really must have , can’t live without, but actually don’t need, . Maybe do a weeks shopping at Asda, Iceland , or Tesco whomever has a rare vacant slot, they are like gold dust these days . But here comes the long awaited thing I mentioned yesterday I would tell you about…., You see last week I realised my shopping had become somewhat of a problem, an addiction., Something i,m doing to fill my long hours of isolation, And really I don’t need anything or want it …..it’s one of my two addictions , the other being much worse and harder to conquer, ( no it’s not drink or drugs) but one that’s taken over my days all the same, ….

So here goes, firstly I’ve decided to go cold Turkey from Amazon, erghhhhhh, then to cut back further I’ve decided to not do my usual weekly online shopping, instead I will use only what’s in my cupboards, fridge or freezer, I’ve not cheated and done a shop first, my last shop being mid week last week, there’s not much in but with forward thinking , a bit of ingenuity I can throw food together , done this from need many moons ago, last night I made spicy veggie wraps with bacon and veggies,all from my stores, tonight chicken pieces with potatoes , stock , and wine cooked in the slow cooker. I’m going even further in my frugal path , only using my battery fairy lights, candles, hearing is my log burner, I have wood already in, I’m trying this originally for one week, but will go on longer if I feel I can….I will keep you informed, it’s not going to be easy, I’ve less than a pint of milk , hardly any bread , nothing to make sandwiches with, well except jam, but this will be fun and make me use my brain more and use up the groceries I have in …….today was a real struggle , but I’m determined to at least do the week ….then onto the big problem ……wish me luck and take care all xx