It’s been one month exactly since I began my grand finale in an otherwise long line of previous failures. A last quest for health before ancient and decrepit😁, that final attempt!, So I’m more determined than ever this time to make it work for me…And so far so good…the scales are indeed tipping…and my way for once thank goodness.

Part of what I’m doing is a daily 12 hour fast, if I’m honest this is no real hardship for me, I have never been a great one for having breakfast,. I have researched, read all those pros and cons, those for and against.  Fully understanding the concept of eating something first thing in the morning to get your metabolism kicked in, . But for me this has always been something of an issue, I’m just not hungry!, . I’ve been told often but many including one long suffering dietician, if I would just start having something, anything then my body will go onto naturally become hungry….no not mine, I’m just sat for an age trying to force down a few mouthfuls of something inbetween gagging…so fasting is never a problem.

Lunch is also a battle ground, …see I’ve never felt that stomach rumbling effect ect, well at least not until around the earliest of 5pm anyhow,.. The whole getting me to eat more than once daily has never been quite natural, and considering my weight issues, getting people to take in this information including my doctors has proven hard going many times, so I now no longer try.

Anyhow I digress as per😁, last week on reading the label of a well known brand of tinned soup, I can’t go as far as to say Im shocked by the amount of sugar it contains, as I already suspected if I’m honest, but it did confirm it for me..so instead of ignoring the blatantly obvious, I decided to do something about it…make my own.😁

Now I have several old favourites, Ones I turn to for comfort…these are Tomato, Pea and ham, or anything thick and meaty… I hate watery thin soups with a passion. ..It bodes well for me that am in fact an old hand at soup DIY, perfecting and altering recipes to my taste…Thursday just gone, I decide what tickled my juices most was some thick Pea and ham soup, what’s more I had everything in take make it, plus there’s not a lot of chopping of veggies involved and the prep time is roughly only about ten minutes.

The hardest part of the whole recipe is smelling it cooking slowly over four excruciating slow hours in the slow cooker…😁,..I began with chopping up some Gammon I had cooked and leftover from the previous days dinner, into nice large chunks…(one or two didn’t quite make it im afraid😁) but the rest did., I then roughly chopped up a large onion, a leek, four cloves of garlic😁, you can add less, I just love it 😁,, after which I added a whole large bag of frozen garden peas, a stock cube, water after which closing down the lid firmly, leaving it to stew in its own juices for four hours…

All afternoon the most gorgeous aroma percolated from my tiny kitchen, I could hardly contain myself, keeping busy was the only way in fact… Every once in a while I would torture myself by standing beside the little red slow cooker, where wafts of Gammon and veg were incorporating into a lush soup,. I stirred it several times as the peas lost their form finally, making the broth a thick but very odd shade of well..pea green colour😁,.

Each hour seemed agonisingly long, and dinner time longer away still, but after three and half hours, it was time to make the slurry..( not a nice term used for making a flour and water paste, of which you stir in for the last half hour, only here I use Greek yogurt and cornflour, this works for me)… I pulled out the pack of shops own brand of corn flour, added two large tea spoonfuls, and two of yogurt into a Ramikin, stirring constantly until its smooth, before finally adding it into my bubbling pot of beautiful soup, the smells coming from that pot filled the whole flat with deliciousness…..stir until it’s mixed in….Now thinking back, I had noted, that the slurry(paste) on hindsight had not been as thick as on previous occasions,. Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing😁.

That half an hour was one of the longest of my life, as the smell drifted on the air and into my room, my stomach growled, I was really ready to eat by now..I couldn’t wait to help myself to a large steaming bowl of goodness, each minute felt like an hour, until finally the alarm on the slow cooker beeped out its readiness, finally being done, the kitchen was filled with its lush aroma, . And as I lifted the lid, i breathed in the warm scents…it had a bubbling thick gloopy consitancy, my mouth drooled as I put in a large ladle, scooping out some steaming liquid into my favourite bowl..

I washed up a few things while I waited somewhat impatiently for it to turn from molten lava, to be remotely edible… I could not wait a second longer, taking up my spoon, I dipped it into the still steaming broth, blowing it twice then i put the whole spoonful into my mouth, but instead of my tastebuds receiving the long awaited cacophony of rich flavours, it was met by a disgusting mix of saccharin sweet green pea horrific gloop, it was vile!, There was no way I could eat this this thing!!! Concoction, mess whatever!, …

Now keep in mind I’m no soup virgin, over my many many years on this mortal coil I’ve made large batches very successfully, without a hitch…none had ever tasted like this though. Mentally I went over the ingredients, over and over, I know them by heart. I couldn’t work out where if anywhere I had erred, made a mistake, but it’s obvious I had. ..I tried it again, in some vague hope, it was just that my tastebuds were playing up after giving up Sugar, as they can do….but the sweetness of this actually physically hurt my tongue…this was madness ! What had I done.

There wasn’t nothing for it, I would have to throw this whole batch out, there wasn’t any way of rescuing it, before I did this though, I opened the cupboard door to my dried ingredients, On the bottom self at the front is where I store the things I use most regular, chilli seasoning, chicken seasoning, wheatfree flour, stock cubes, pasta, cornflour and icing sugar…..screeches to halt, goes back to look again..there stood side by side in almost identical shops own boxes, were Corn flour and icing sugar…both packs the same colouring…I began to understand where I had gone so very very wrong, Remember when I said the slurry had been somewhat thinner this time?, Well now at least we know why., My eyesight being not the best to begin with, only having sight in one eye, then the kitchen also being dark and somewhat dingy it was an easy mistake to make, not very professional, but I had done it all the same..I was angry with myself, ..my punishment a dinner of ricecakes thin sliced cheese and cucumber..not the hot meaty very longed for bowl of soup…I threw the icing sugar in the bin out of temper of my own stupidity… I won’t be doing that again folks 😁😁😁😁😁. ..take care of you in whatever your up to folks ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤x