It’s been some weeks now since sadly Cinnamon bun(Cinnie) left for fresh pastures,,running free in the happy hunting grounds, the dream world, here after which ever is your own thought or beliefs on the matter…I choose to see him hopping about in sunny meadows, lazing about under trees, grass filled fields dotted full of others of his kin, bounding about safe, sun on their backs and happy. Anyway after he’s loss, I was left with a rather problem…a somewhat large problem…

Cinnies apartment….

Just Weeks after rehoming my buddy back in 2019, the moment I knew he had finally settled in for certain, with he’s newly adopted human serf., I went about sourcing someone to build him a home, Not just any abode mind, not for my fluffy bun!!!!,. But one that was to be specifically tailored to his every last whim and need, fulfilling any and all the requirements a discerning bunny may have. In other words bespoke..it took some time finding that special someone, a person who wouldn’t just try to fob me off with a poorly made 4ft by 2ft wooden box with some cheap chicken wire tacked up the front, This was to be Cinnies home, his safe place and with hes special needs kept in mind.Because Cinnie try as I may, would not be bribed,cajoled, encouraged or dare I say it forced to leave his then cage(he had had four homes already, and each spent in a garden hutch)…even with the door open 24/7 and Freshly picked Dandelions scattered for his delectation…nothing or no one could convince him that outside was safe…I can identify with this 😊.

So this new home needed to be large enough for him to move about unfettered, freely, yet still fit into my somewhat snug Bungalow..Finally the day came, quite by chance while I was purchasing a garden bird table from a local carpenter, I just happened to ask, ‘you don’t make other things do you’?, ‘like what’?, ‘Oh say a rabbit home’😁,. I instinctively knew I had come across someone who would at least take both mine and Cinnies needs seriously…I explained the dimensions required, Even texting him a couple of my very amateurish poorly sketched plans😁, . In the end it turned out to be a fabulous collaboration of three minds..Mine, hes and his good lady wifes, Who fortunately enough for us all, had at one time kept her own rabbits, so was on hand to help with the finer details…We kept in touch over the following weeks, texts flew back and forth while the construction was underway…I saw many photos.. Even heard about the curse words as building evolved into an elaborate bunny apartment, with two floors and a cozy bedroom by all means it apparently wasn’t quite as simple as first thought… But anything to do with me never is🙄….

After weeks of hard work on his part and impatience on both sides, Finally the day came for me to see the finished article…And I have to say even to this day I wasn’t expecting anything quite beautiful or elaborate….taking two hefty people to deliver …Cinnies new built home barely made it through the front door…it was massive..A whopping 8ft long, 3ft wide and 4ft tall, two floors, a bedroom, a specially made wrunged ladder to the upper floor, And what’s more this wonderful bunny palace came with wheels,(a caravan perhaps) perfect plan because there’s no way I could comprehend shifting this if need be….

But what most impressed though was the thoughtful workmanship involved..it was to all intents a rabbit home for Cinnie…but that wasn’t the end of it..the exterior had been polished and varnished till it glowed with a gloss…From the inside it served as one top class rabbit apartment, but outside my needs were being catered for too, it looked for all the world like beautiful piece of furniture, a perfect sideboard…I loved it instantly, taking to polishing the outside with beeswax every few days….nothing but the best for myself and Cinnie….

After Cinnie….

So what now?, Each time I walked through from my bedroom into the living room, there it stood, a constant reminder…a massive great shouty memorial to the ensuing months of pain, of loss..I couldn’t bear to even look at it…because now it stood empty, silent except for the ghostly recalled sounds…For weeks after I was still hearing him drinking from his bottle, his toy ball being rolled across the floor, or the constant banging of the door, he loved nothing more than nudging the door nightly, to see if it remained ever open,(course it was) although he never would once venture his fluffy self through it…I tried shutting my eyes as I walked by it now, This was not only to prove idiotic, unsuccessful, but lethal to my now very bruised and battered legs, even nearly breaking my little toe on another occasion…it was no good decisions had to be made and fast!…so as always this requires coffee, much much coffee, comfort Kitkats and Jesse..I needed to talk it over with someone who not only knew how I was feeling, but got these still very raw emotions, just talking it out not only helped but I knew full well would bring to fruition any decision making…

I altered my mind a dozen times over the following days, veering wildly from finding it another rabbit home, so another may get equal enjoyment out of it, (it was after all still immaculate, Cinnie being uber clean in his habits, only using his toilet area, again specifically adapted for him exclusively …Or I could hire a man with a van to take it to the local recycling plant?, That would indeed remove the memory, but then could I live with how wasteful this would be, as I idled back and forth between these ideas, One morning a yet another idea popped into my head…talking of waste…it seemed such a waste to buy another large piece of furniture to act as a sideboard, plus really costly to boot …But I was going to indeed need a replacement and all the while here stood one…ok it still held those haunting memories…I still hated seeing it, but I was torn, conflicted terribly, because despite everything, It also held happy memories of my pal..plus I still loved it as a piece of furniture….

So what to do?….

It didn’t help that around this time my left leg whether due to EDS, an old injury or Fluid retention was giving me seven sorts of hell..most days I could barely walk let alone become DIY Doris😁..After a phone appointment my doctor ordered me to rest it up….I spent hours reading to kill time, (a book daily) but as much as books are my escapism, I wanted, needed to be doing things, I was bored out of my tiny skull..You cannot comprehend the stress this put me under, take one classic over thinker and confine them to base, and you get yourself a head twirling,profanity screaming banshee …My mind was in tatters…this said as I lay about one good thing gradually began to germinate in my over worked head…what if I turned Cinnamons room into storage…I could do this…I knew I could, after all despite lacking in confidence, I have my own power tools these day, even a tool box?😁, how hard could this be right!??????😁

There was still one massive problem….I don’t in fact drive..And everything and anything I needed to upcycle my project was miles away at the local DIY store…Cabs although a possibility were never going to be practical let alone affordable…I hate asking my friend Debbie ,she does enough for me in my opinion…so how could I go about achieving what I had planned….back to the ever growing drawing board…What was the plan you ask?… Basically to cover the wire doors in the very outset with some sheets of hardboard, making panels…see my thoughts here were if I could change the look of it enough, I could change my thought about it..but how could I achieve this…Firstly I spent hours trawling ‘the Amazon’…

They didn’t have what I needed…immediately doubt crept in making its home in the recesses of my head,…’stupid plan Theresa’, ‘you could never have done it anyhow’ ‘you,’ll mess it up’…Zero confidence and with it self loathing I pushed it on the back burner…, I infact was spiralling into an incoming depression, i should have expected this….but just as I was about to throw in the hat and give up on the whole blooming idea….I figured it…Cardboard!!!!!!

No that’s not a new freshly made up profanity😁, I could use thick cardboard….but where to find anything near thick enough for the job….Amazon to the rescue…I would buy big removal boxes…I would get the biggest and strongest they had., If this was to still prove too flimsy then I could of course glue two pieces together. Genius ! …this could actually work you know., I still had the issues with my knee but I would find a way… In fact I was finding a way…

Under construction….

Ten thick massive corrugated boxes arrived on the Wednesday, I figured looking at them I would only In fact need to deconstruct two 😁, ..While cutting these into four panels pieces, at first trying with overly small scissors(only me) Before admitting defeat and finally reaching for the armour plated, destroy all in their path variety, the cardboard retaliated by also wholeheartedly cutting up me…

But with some manoeuvring,cursing and me covered in plasters, I did end up with four perfectly sized card panels..I had even made myself a template in the beginning😮….I know I was bloody shocked myself….but I had wanted this to work out for both myself and Cinnies Sake!…., Before this attempt though there had been the inevitable failure, I had previously tried sticking wood effect sticky backed plastic over the fronts…this not only looked tacky and awful but by the very next morning it had drooped down, peeling off to slide on to the waiting carpet below, where it stuck very soundly, and of course to me!!!! ….After this determination in all things creation became my watch words…that and my constant referral…a framed speech by Theodore Roosevelt the Man in the Arena, (look it up)I look at this I every time I falter…which is a dozen times daily …this time I would make it work come what may ….

Now I had the four panels…it struck me square between the eyes🙄!!!!…no glue!, Oh come on why is this happening to me!….because your you Treez😊, ..But just as I go to fling away the card in frustration, my eyes are drawn to the small white cylindrical pot on top of Cinnies home, don’t remember putting it there but I must have at some point….it’s called Modge Podge, a white sticky crafters glue…I look down at the card ….do you know this only might work!! Could it? Would it?…well you,’ll never know, sat here in deep procrastination woman, for goodness sake set too, oh no what do you mean you don’t possess a brush?…well pour that funky white gunk and get your hands in it luv…and I do, and did, it was in fact fun😁…..at that exact moment my nose of course itched, my eye water and Ive dropped a tissue on the floor….. of course then the door bell rings, So I have to answer it…As I do though,I have encased the door handle, its covered, hair is stuck fast to my nose, and why oh why won’t this bloody tissue leave my hand alone, shakes it frantically ….At the door are three very very smartly dressed woman… Jehovahs witnesses….They try not to look horrified in all fairness to them😊…they just look on pityingly instead….one turns a beautiful smile to me and said do you believe in god?, Good question, here I’m stood trying frantically to pick pieces of glue off my nose area with the untissued stuck hand..convinced the fast drying glue looks like I have a snotty nose, which I’m picking….the tissue caked other hand is doing little to convince otherwise….they smile politely once more all the while backing off fast …I outstretched a gluey tissued hand for the handshaking of purposes, but for some reason they’ve already walked down the path, hmmm strange folk, something I said, I scratch my head in puzzlement….oh damn it!!!!! And I never did answer their questions…oh well shuts door behind me…using the tissue covered door knob….sighs…

After scrubbing my hands in some much needed hot soapy water for the next hour😁…I placed the two Modge podge sticky panels in two separate black sacks weighing them down with heavy books….all day I’m tempted to check their progress, but I’m good and wait, and wait some more..in fact I make it to the very next day before investigating things further ….holds breath, hands shaking, and check out the big reveal….it only blooming worked didn’t it…they were stuck solid into a strong board like structure…I silently whooped..punching the air…now what?😁

Well the rest went easy, I had already found a beautiful wallpaper, covered in what looks like 3D Rabbits and Birds…the shapes really stand out bold from the paper…coincidentally enough it’s called Sage(my budgies name) nothing to do with the sage green background of course….Ive covered the two panel sections in the beautiful paper….letting it dry..before screwing it on to the door frames…it looks like wood…acts solid enough to be well,,, wood…I finished the whole ensemble with a strip of white lace across the top and bottom of each panel, (same colour as the birds and bunnies) this covers the screws and finishes it off perfectly…it looks pretty darn good if I say so myself..it alters the whole look of it and you would never know it’s original use….

I still have the top floor to cover in black vinyl tiles, the lower floors done…there’s door handles to change or paint whichever looks best..but do you know what?, I’m proud of my efforts, and to think just a few years ago I would never have contemplated starting a project like this, let alone looking forward to finishing it…my confidence still gets easily shaken..but at least now I attempt things for myself…there’s no one here to mock my progress and because of this I try, then try harder……..It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena …..(Part of the speech of Theodore Roosevelt… Thank you for being at my side a while and reading, I appreciate you greatly my fellow Gladiators…take care of you in whatever you do today …because your worth every effort…bye for now 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜x