It’s just after eight o’clock in the morning and I’ve already been awake three hours. Seems sleep wasn’t on the agenda once more, as I’ve mentioned previously this rarely if ever vex,s me, it may leave me tired at times but not anxious at all…Getting out of bed wasn’t my favourite thing either, Weather here that night it seemed bypassed Autumn altogether, slipping straight into winter mode way to easy for my liking(maybe a small taster of things to come)…..I shuffle into the kitchen, not bothering to switch on any lights, fearful it may over stimulate the back of my eyes, in my half sleep state, I was still living with some deluded illusion,. that after I had made my coffee,maybe inhaled the contents of my favourite thermo mug i could just sorta fall back into comatose sleep at some point or another…yeah I know gullible as ever😁 .

While being awake most of the night may have it’s downfalls, it gave me chance to check out the sky for the possible sightings of Aurora borealis, (the late night local news had mentioned it in amongst the latest disasters and dross), And the conditions were in fact perfect for it….Where I live there’s also no street lighting, leaving it pitch black here after midnight, there wasn’t one cloud in the sky, it was velvet black, studded with a myriad of bright diamond twinkling stars..in itself exceptionally beautiful but alas no swirling whisps of colour…

While deep in what is by now mid morning Procrastination(otherwise known as 9:30) and over yet another coffee fix, I make up my mind to build that set of book shelves, the same one, I had delayed many times over, as one does., In my mind i needed to achieve one thing that day, one at the very least….needing to achieve and doing it are though in fact two entirely different things you know, (do feel free to remind me of this fact at some point)…I sat on the sofa contemplating the sections of wood, oh where does one begin…well let’s start with the easy bit…put them in order!, I can do that much right🤔?….That done I then found out my favourite screw drivers…😁, I can tell your impressed already…yes I have favourite screwdrivers, I have gone from a woman who had never been allowed near anything resembling DIY, to now being the proud owner of a tool box….ok it’s not the biggest in the universe but as ladies know it ain’t the size of your tool box, it’s maximising whats in it….right ladies? Mmmmhmmm😁😁😁😁, .

After locating all the tools required, I slurped down my remaining coffee while looking at my laid out project…I must admit to a kindling of excitement building up in the pit of my stomach at the thought of making something for my home..(or was that the remaining effects of last nights red lentil, pea pasta, don’t ask? Wiser not😁), ..but while looking down at the now neatly stacked sections, I had this understanding finally of what people get out of building things themselves…there’s that pride isn’t there?, in the finished article….and I wanted me a piece of that. Wood glue, dowelling, wood screws, screw drivers, hammer, fully charged electric drill, coffee…I was finally ready….not only ready though, there was this something new…think I’m reflection it’s called determination…and not was I determined!!!!😁.

Section one…..

Screw the three shelves to one side panel🤔, …..Have you ever tried doing this folks?, Especially while trying not to let the full weight of each shelf droop, splitting the wood….(doing this single handed even for someone ambidextrous) is not as easy as it first seems. But necessity is the mother of all invention…I utilised my pouffe, I found resting the weight of the shelves against it allowed me to work on the next one, I busied myself with gluing, then onto screwing each section..I didn’t rush the job at hand, I took my time and considered each and every task…Ok something’s went on back to front momentarily 😊🙄 yes I found it is important especially for aesthetic purposes. I also had by now, glue in places you never want to find glue….😁, but with trousers gradually slipping down, (the pockets being full of screws, panel pins and other essentials work stuffs, I had that whole builders cleavage thing going on at the back there😁😁😁😁😁,. Whistling a non sensical tune to myself as I channelled the carpenters of old throughout the family, my ancestors, looking to my grandfather and father before me… Before long I had only gone and done it folks!!!, completed my mission,

Stood about me, amongst the residual mess was in fact a very solid and substantial piece of furniture, and yes it took some forethought, some rehashing after I messed up….but that was a mere twice folks😁..On the whole it hadn’t taken that much effort on my part..I could not get this huge grin off my face as busied myself about clearing up the mess, With my back by now protesting furiously,…but I no longer cared….in fact I didnt give a stuff..I had made something for my home, my nest…what’s more it looks really good, dare I say professional even,i think I dare😊😊😊😊…even as I leant my full weight upon it, it didn’t move Even the slightest…

I then began the thankless task of clearing up the debris, I couldn’t allow my brand new wonderful bookcase to live in amongst clutter, After hoovering throughout, clearing the dust, I had by now found the perfect spot for its location, …..Once placed I begin placing my books up the shelves…and no the they didn’t collapse, droop or now in the middle, this was the perfect home for my Bronte collection, classic fairy tales, who now live alongside my CJ Samson collection, game of thrones, and others…upon the top in pride of place sits my Case record player, ready and waiting to play my ever growing collection of Vinyl should I so choose, …

Each and every time I walk out into the living room, my eyes are met by the sturdy bookcase, the same one I put together, filled with trepidation and often doubt of my ability,…but it’s no longer just a bookcase, it’s a constant reminder to have faith in yourself, after all what’s the worst that can happen…you may fail but if you keep at it eventually you will succeed also, As my favourite speech by Theodore Roosevelt begins….It’s not the Critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the Arena….And now days the thing with living alone is I find myself more and more in that Arena…As my confidence and learning grow daily from this, I’m finding I grow alongside it….keep that faith alive inside yourself folks, Stay well and be careful out there…….💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌺