Tag: books

The Christmas mystery…

As you are only too aware of by now, Christmas is just around the corner,, (or round the bend might be more appropriate for most of us), With the way things are at this moment in time, we certainly need something to get distracted by, that said you can’t beat some soft twinkling lights, candles,or a pine scented trees,(foil scented in my case, is foil scented?hmmm) anyway it certainly does improve the most dreariest of wintry atmospheres,…I started adding small sparkling things to my Bower around the 1st of December, i think I’m nearly to the point of no return now, well maybe so😁….I just can’t help myself…

There’s just no escape from my child like delight in this time of year, always something so so magical…even to someone who lives alone, will spend Christmas day alone…it will always remain a special and quite beautiful time, for me at least😊, …I am fully aware that it can be a sad time for others, depressing even, evoking memories of those not here to share it with, I know I miss my parents terribly, there’s remains a candle alight each day in memory of them both, and every time I see the flickering amber glow, it’s serves as a focus for warm reflection …I chose happy special memories with care, Christmas evenings, with my three children, young, the large family drop leaf pine table, extended fully, covered with my mothers special occasion embroidered table cloth, table groaning under plates of Turkey sandwiches, every kind of pastry, crisps and pickles, bottles of sparkling juices, mum called Gassy, it was a traditional time I hold so close, so dear, it will always bring a smile or three😊.

But as I’ve already touched upon, like the last eight Christmases the actual day itself will be somewhat anticlimactic, loneliness hanging about like sad dark Spector at the feast, I try to hide from its effect by keeping myself constantly busy, .Back around September time, I had started a new venture, a diary, only with an added twist….instead of words, this diary/journal whatever, contains pictures i painted I’m water colour …I’m not the best at artistic creation by any means, but I gave myself permission, special dispensation if you will, to not be, I’m allowed to mess it up.😊, it’s more about creating, a raw depiction, thought or memory that crosses my mind on that day….One page contains two rosy pink lady apples, why????, Well I’m particularly fond of an apple😊, and that day I had none in😐… So it almost bordered on obsession, a craving…so two red apples on a pale blue background, jazzy gold dots became my muse 😊, this weeka creation a rather whimsical little misshapen house, decked out with colourful fairy lights, snow and even a rather devious looking lopsided snowman, listen I’m never going to be a Picasso, Constable, Monet or Van Gogh, Old masters is not ever going to be associated with my work, but it’s somewhat fun, serving as a relief from the ever circling mind monkeys or bouts of over thinking,

Between this, extensive reading, filling my tiny home with brightness, I find I can bear the depredation of company quite well..but there’s one mischievous madness, call it distraction if you will, (but i must confess, I have confession I need to make, therefore I will ….😊😊😊😊😊, I couldn’t help myself folks, it was just there, too bloody tempting….

The little tree of temptation….

We had one perfect day last week, which dawned cloudless, bright, clear and breezy😊, (no honestly we did, I know that’s rare for the uk but it happens occasionally all the same😮),. So out I ran without haste, to dispense my washing upon the line,. just then the sun broke through and I swear I heard a choir of starlings burst into hallelujah,.😁😁😁😁. As I picked my way back more carefully across the squelching rain soaked grass, trying my damndest not to slide over onto my derriere, for we had already had one Earth quake that week, another being a little excessive don’t you think?…but even though staying upright took more concentration that an elephant on ice, Something drew my attention, out the corner of my good eye😁, I saw a sparkly thing, it glittered in the sunlight, .. standing there in my neighbours front garden a Christmas tree🤗, in all its gloriousness, a vision, a poem of perfection, a cacophony of flamboyantness, grandiose even …..sighs!, Now whether we should call it a moment of madness, a psychotic state induced by over caffeine consumption I will never know….whatever it was m,lud I can’t be held responsible….within a twinkling of a doodah, I shot in the house, grabbed a solitary icicle decoration left over from my own decorating of harth n home, slid out the door, sleeker than Bildohead cat, (I think that’s it’s name anyhow) after a bird, …..before I could stop myself the icicle hung in full glistening view on an empty branch….proud of my deception I ran back in giggling to myself😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁, served me right if I had slid over on my Christmas ass….😁.

Over the course of a week, that icicle was to be joined by fellow icicles, who ever heard of one lone icicle uh uh….. A star I had roped my poor daughter into making for just this occasion, and a glass droplet or three…, I woke up before the sun each day to sneak yet another ornament upon the waiting tree….I just couldn’t help it…honestly !!!!😁, I then sat inside my house grinning wondering if my neighbours had any idea who the Christmas culprit was….did they suspect?, Had they sat crossing off likely neighbours, if so I’ve no clue, but they didn’t remove the decor that’s the main thing….So I felt emboldened, daring, audacious even, next day I ordered two elves from “the Zon”, Amazon, it was too good to resist…..I just had to…and I did😊,

Saturday morning….synchronise your watches…

Saturday morning at barely light o’clock, before the Rooster had roostered, (the Coooooo, erm maybe not😁) .I could wait not a moment longer, I was up and out, an elf in each frozen little hand, staking out the terrain as I went, on the look out for rogue passers by….😊, …..I had the all clear…Jesse sat in phone land, in my pocket peeking over the top as my able look out….We timed our approach with utter perfection….we were indeed glorious…..before anyone could suspect our intention, I had one elf attached to the top of the tree, the other hanging off the flashing security light, looking mischievously down upon his buddy….proudly I strutted in for more coffee…the Eagle had landed, I had struck once more……

Later That same morning, while going to put out laundry, I spotted both my neighbours in the distance, bringing their grandchildren back with them, so i took longer than expected to hang out my few bits of washing😁, coward Treez !!!!, ….but from this hidden vantage point I could hear the childrens excited voices, they had already spotted the carefully choreographed elves and were telling their grandparents where they were….it was cute as hell to listen to and the fun part was the grandparents feined surprise, playing along….it honestly made my whole week….

Next week….

In the week I took in a package for the same said neighbours, while they were out, it’s something we do for one another… Later that same day, I heard Catherine chatting to the window cleaner in her garden….So grabbing the package and took it out there for her, As I handed her the parcel, she turned to the window cleaner with a huge grin saying, “oh look my little neighbourhood Christmas tree fairy “😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁, I don’t know about little so much😁, but it was more than obvious, even to us partially blind folks, the game was now up, I had been rumbled, stookered, . But in fairness to Catherine she took it all in the good fun intended…we shared a moment of how much the children had enjoyed the surprise element, and really I’m not sure who enjoyed it all more, me, the kids, or the elves, but you can rest assured, this xxl Christmas fairy will find something else to get up to in the week or so before the festivities 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁. Anyhoo enough from me, whatever your about this week, whether it’s high jinks or keeping warm at home over hot chocolate and a twix, look after yourself and behave like what I does 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁, 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛x

Washing day blues….Dear diary

Thursday…..

So what’s been happening with everyone out there?, are you all ok, not all gone into survival mode, trying to make it through these heatwaves, once called ermmmm let me see, oh yeah summer😁?, Here has been pretty much uneventful, well as uneventful as life gets while leading the secret life of Calamity Jane, .To the world around me I go about my mousy staid little life. In Boringville,only we know the actuality of living within the madness of Treez world…I can and have out Calamitied, Calamity on a daily basis. No two days are every the alike ever!!!!!!…

Take last Monday for instance….

Here,s where I should really come back with “oh someone take it please” but that’s old hat so I wont, but I did, oh never mindddd! ..Back to the subject woman!!!!, Monday started out calm, (quite pleasant on the whole really), I had had my numerous large mugs of coffee, One of which was partaken while enjoying being outside in the early morning sun,, The cleaning section of the day had well and truly commenced most satisfactory, everything was well under way, After coffee, I finished off cleaning the kitchen, while out there William Mcwasher, (aka the washing machine) conveniently came to a shuddering halt,. time then to hang out the wash …and yes you read that correctly, all my gadgets have names, even surnames 😮😁

This particular morning I had been blasting my out poor lugholes (ears) with sounds from the 80s, Apart from the odd song it was really cringe worthy . More cheese in those there tracks than in a Cathedral City factory…(other brands of Cheese are of course available… But I must confess in a strange sad lonely woman’s way, I was in truth enjoying these here tracks to the past…I belted out numerous numbers in my own unique fashion, …Oh yeah we were talking about the washing…sorry distraction be Thy name Treez,😁

I bellow along with Aha,s take on me, while stooping to gather up various items of freshly washed lavender and chamomile scented laundry, the acoustic,s are really quite remarkable with your head stuck in the drum of a washer yah know… Putting the last bits in my basket, I check Jesse is still sleeping in phoneland, before traipsing out the back to the washing line….(I am almost certain though that my foghorn rendition of Heaven is a place on earth by Belinda Carlisle and myself has acted as a sweet lullabye…😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁…

It’s a beautiful soft breezy morning, perfect for the purpose of laundry hanging out😁….birds are singing…well I think they are,(music is still on full at this point) and white feather (the blackbirds) beak is quite moving fast… Sort of like an ancient episode of Top of the pops(for those of you still under a 100) that my dearies was a long ago music programme, where miming was en vogue, Tvs had only three channels, mostly in black and white….I know shocking 😮😮😮😮, but I digress.. Fluffy white clouds speeding like late 9 to 5 drivers in their cobalt sky distract me, but only for a second, as one of my favourite 80s groups follows Belinda….Hot Chocolate.

Who doesn’t love a bit of Errol? …(him of Hot chocolate fame), especially that time defying classic, You sexy thing… It’s wonderful hearing it again, and whatever came over me, for what ever reason, possibly caffeine over indulgence, joie de vivre, life in general, just in the moment, who knows, but I jiggling about like an over stimulated fruit Jelly, My wobbly bits causing imminent tremors and avalanches in New Zealand or Papua New guinea as they sway in the breeze, confident in alone I sing out …..”I believe in milkos where you from, you sexy thing”, I’m louder than an announcement at Tesco for half price sanitary products “, I’m singing loud, proud and I don’t care…it’s my moment…I’m on the stage of Britain’s got no talent wowing the judges, at the 02 Arena, Glastonbury amidst the crowds going wild….I’m waving a large pair of Maroon womans boyshorts about my head, gyrating with every last thing I’ve got…….it’s then something catches the corner of my eye….

To my horror just a little behind me, where I’m performing my little heart out, is a guy up a ladder loping a neighbours tree, doing he’s utmost to stay secure while wiping the tears from his eyes on the back of his sleeve, now either his feeling very sorry for the tree or something is surely a miss, as I turn slowly to fully face my audience of one, the horror hits me square in the face….shorts still held momentarily aloft, blowing like a wind sock in the breeze, my jiggly bits only now, slowly coming to a halt, moment’s after I have in fact stopped moving…. Mouth ajar the next verse primed to leave my readied larynx, it slams shut immediately catching my tongue….my heated face turning almost Puce, do I smile, do I try to hide belated behind the Hedera helix ivy covered fence……do I heck, I shout ewwww wasp waving my bloomers at the invisible flying insect….the guy now out and out laughing ,wobbles on his ladder only saving himself himself from a certain fall by clutching at the fence, the electric tree lopper device waving menacingly about in the air…

This is a true to life Treezism, and you will be pleased to hear, no gardeners, bloomers, or fake wasps were hurt in the telling of it….whatever your doing out there today folks, stay safe, keep a look out for stray Gardens up ladders and look after yourselves you sexy thangs you 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎙🎙🎙🎙🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎧

The Visit… Dearest Diary.

Back in the now far off chilly dull grey month of February, After a rare and somewhat impromptu visit to my Doctors surgery, Debbie and I sat in our favourite cafe sipping a well earned reviving cup of coffee. Catching up with each other, plus all our news since last meeting up, After which Debbie mentioned maybe we could schedule a wee trip out somewhere soon, Of course this was dependant on the weather improvement,. We really never do set anything in stone, both of us quite comfortable with “the whatever”!, just pencil something in hoping for the best., keep in mind, that we rarely know how i,m going to feel on any particular day, or if indeed something may crop up suddenly for Debbie, (a real social whirl is our Deb, tires me out just listening to her exploits😁…One of these spare of the moment plans included a trip to Mrs Smith’s Cottage… Now I had no idea who this Mrs Smith was, or indeed if she was expecting us, infact even where her cottage could be located, but I leave these things to Debbies more than capable hands, she’s the Navigator, on-board entertainment organiser, dare I say it captain of our ship, in our case her tiny Nissan car😁…

Over the weeks that would follow the weather remained much the same, the sky covered in a thick oppressive slate grey blanket, from early dawn to dusk,. As the days went by, if I’m honest it crossed my sleepy mind, more than once, that maybe Deb had perhaps forgotten about our impending trip out, (Nooooooo chance), Debbie rarely if ever forgets anything 😁,. That following week I received the awaited Text from our entertainment coordinator, informing me Friday morning at 11:30 was D day😁.. that Friday morning After a couple of mugs of extra strong, honey laced inspiration, I decide maybe I should make some sort of concerted effort with my appearance,(goodness knows it takes longer these days😁)for it’s not often i,m allowed to socialise with real live people,. But as tiring and confusing as it can be for moi, it’s equally vexatious for them🙄😁 ,….I didn’t want to let Debbie down though, she had been so excited to show me around the little cottage, it becomes rather infectious you know, So after a long shower, I dug out a still in the packet new t shirt for the special occasion, spritzed with my favourite perfume, ready! Or at least there about😁 …

…. Just a week prior to this i had “the annual” flat inspection🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄, as you may know by now I find this not only somewhat invasive, but it sets my anxiety level running free and rampant, (love that word rampant!!!!!😁…. hereafter begins hours upon hours of totally unnecessary, ney uncalled for deep cleansing, where upon I usually end up creating even more bloody mess than I began with…I do this to myself, every time🙄, it culminates in the inspector being in the flat, less than five minutes, making lots of approval sounds, before telling me how lovely and clean everything is,(you get it is). I feel somewhat like it that proverbial pat on the head, what a good girl Treez!, If I had any real energy remaining after these shenanigans, I would go and fetch them a ball and wag my tail😁, just as well I don’t though or I’m certain sure there would be an earthquake of epic proportions somewhere like Australia,🙄😁, No instead I belly flop upon my bed, not to stir for some hours… Even the lure of strong coffee cannot revive the slumbering blubbering wreck that remains, Jesse yells out cake!!!!!!! every couple of hours, if one of my eyes twitch I’m alive…🙄

So after this abhorrent six monthly invasion, I welcomed any escape,some distraction from a well planned outing, I had already made sure I had some cash in my wallet for said occasion, mostly for those sudden stops off at roadside plant stands, We say every time that we will avoid them at all costs, but we never quite fulfil this promise, Somewhat fortunate enough for the local plant sellers …I swear they hear in advance, (“Ethel Ethel go dig up some plants from the garden, i,’ll get the trestle table from the shed, they’re on the way” 😁, (I don’t know which of us is worse, but hey it’s all good for local economy right?, Just doing my bit.😁

Mrs Smith….

Friday dawned one of those most perfect of days, the sky a pale Periwinkle blue, cloudless, filled with that promise of early spring warmth, floating above in the air,. Showered, my make up done, coffee section of the day complete, I was ready for anything…..ok just a slight exaggeration there, but as ready as I get anyhow., I sat chatting to Jesse as we awaited Debbies imminent arrival, it was going to be fun, oh please let it be ok😁😁😁😁😁😁

…. The drive to the location was absolutely stunning, passing through some very pretty chocolate box picture villages along the way, neat yellow Lancashire stone bungalows, perfectly manicured lawns, bordered with spring flowers. ..Because of our rather late start, the first port of call was lunch, (we like to do things in order of importance) well it’s food, foods vital😁🙄, That was of coursw when we finally located the cafe, I’ve no sense of direction, Debbie knowing little of the villiage, just adds to the adventure though😁😁😁😁😁😁. Thank goodness Debbie had had the forethought to pre booked us a table, after exploring the wilds of Navenby we were both nearly emaciated and on our last legs,🤔, how does one have last legs I wonder? Hmmmm, that implies we have spare legs, neat idea😁… On arrival it was all very pleasant and civilised I must say, The cafe owner very welcoming to her immaculate premises, never batting an eyelid, when I explained my complicated restrictive diet requirements, no carbs, no sugar, or wheat, ..I was however served a lovely crisp fresh green salad with a tangy Balsamic dressing, (thoroughly delicious….it’s so refreshing to find somewhere that can meet my dietary weirdness needs😁😁😁😁, it took all the awkwardness out of what was to be a rare treat…

After lunch, it came about that the tiny stone cottage sat nestled within walking distance from our lunch venue, even for me !, Deb had planned it all to that last minute detail… On arrival, you walk through a tiny walled olde worlde cottage garden, filled to capacity with a vast array of colour and every hue, bright blue forget me nots, competed for space with orange, red, russet coloured sweet scented wall flowers, the tall spires of iridescent purple and blue Delphinium, Silene latifolia,(Campion) both the pink and white variety springing up where they could find a space, lupins,Borage standing shoulder to shoulder, with Lavender,… For a tiny front garden it was awash with colour, a tapestry of delight, wild yet incredibly beautiful, on walking in, I felt an Instant welcome, greeted even, I would be hard put to explain this experience, but I felt a reverence, a pause, hush, as if the garden was expecting us….at any moment it’s owner about to make her appearance….

The cottage itself doesn’t disappoint , A thick solid wood door thrown open wide, straight into a tiny gift shop, filled with any myriad of consumable items, jams, chutney, biscuits, sweets … Selves packed with notebooks, pens, pencils, tea towels, souvenirs, every inch accounted for…the thick walls held the warmth of the day bay, inside the light was dimmed, a stark contrast from the bright sunlight outside, After our eyes adjusted, you find yourself jettisoned into another time, era ………

The first room though somewhat cramped was complete, within it a heavy wooden table, set out for afternoon tea, upon the back wall a black leaded stove, highly polished and clean, you had the feeling this was Mrs Smith’s pride and joy, a kettle sat ready to boil at any given moment’s notice, From behind us one of the wonderful volunteers who cares for the cottage, Voices the patently already obvious, Mrs Smith’s tiny cottage had welcomed many many visitors through her door over the years, She had been the hub of her community…

If time travel existed, the most die-hard amongst believe, .. as you stood within those walls, it’s a strange sensation, kind of like visiting your grand parents house, Open fires, lead light windows, wing backed chairs which you sank into, an exquisite embroidered white table cloth, covered in pansies, silky roses, and tiny sprigs of colourful flowers, beneath the table sat a toy box, complete with spinning top, Kaleidoscope, a puzzle and wood blocks, just awaiting tiny hands to be amused within its contents,

Upon a coffee table, sat before the Marley tile surround fireplace was an open letter, Written to One of Mrs Smith’s many friends, this we were encouraged to pick up and read…it was the genuine article, handled not only by it’s original author but hundreds of curious interested hands, a beautifully descriptive missive relating to her 100th birthday celebrations, the telegram from her Majesty the queen, gifts and visitors….I felt a bit like I was invading her privacy, but not enough to want to sit in one of the comfy but slightly lumpy winged back chairs and read every line…you couldn’t help but not feel that connection with the past….everything was as it had been left, trapped forever in time…I hate to keep using it, but paused …. Only waiting for its owners imminent return.

On the same table, a small brown photo album lay open, filled with black and white pictures, capturing unique images of family, friends, the cottage, it’s garden and trips abroad, for we learned Mrs Smith was very well travelled, even venturing to London, Scotland alone…she was quite the Dame, far braver than i, she had lived in that small home right up until her 102 birthday, where after a fall meant she needed relocation to a care home, this amazing woman had cared for her home up until this point, climbing a steep ladder each night to go to bed, I wouldn’t even attempt the climb, but it left me filled with admiration for the amazing lady that did, we left with booklets, recipes for cookies, souvenirs from the gift shop, and smiles upon our faces, I found myself really liking Mrs Smith as we had learned had everyone who walked through the front door., Well enough from me for the day, have a good week folks and take care of yourselves💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛😊🌻

Don’t you just love a whopper?😉…Dear diary

Oh hell it’s Monday already!

The week previous myself and my Friend Debbie had taken a rain check on an arranged coffee, Every few weeks or so she takes delight in forcing me to step over my comfort zones, putting reluctant feet over the threshold and into the wilds, aka a cafe😁,or shop. This means which ever means fair or otherwise, normally a large handled cattle prod being her favourite to date,😊, I swear though she just wants to read the more and more outlandish elaborate excuses I have been known to come up with, on this subject I am eventually thinking of starting my own business, (Dial an excuse, for those days when you need that quickie reason for a sick day) not blowing my own kazoo here and all that, I’m pretty proficient at this for which My Children can freely attest, (Should I admit this, does it come under dodgy parenting I wonder,) But while they were at school if for any reason one or another of them needed an note for late homework ect.., including the occasion for my daughter’s very late history project, I came up with some excellent plausible excuses (like the puppy peed on it, it may actually have been more like one of the guys in the house missing the loo but we won’t go there😊 least in this case if I recall there was some truth in the matter though,,,,,,we had a puppy 😁.

I had already used up my allotted excuse allowance for this month, on or around February 2nd, probably for the coming year also , pleading was no longer an option either, So Monday morning was the offending day…As per the blooming always, Sleep for that night was all very last minute….yes it lurks in the corner of my bedroom, or under my bed, waiting patiently until that very last hour before I need to get up, to knock me into comatose mode, spark out, snoring fit to burst,. Waking again with a start at around 9am,. At this point, I would really so love to write I leap out of bed , huh some chance maybe 20 years or so ago!!!!, We must also take into account Debbies due to arrive about 10:30, and I hate rushing, it’s just so uncalled for, not civilised, Plus, well I need to ensure time for my coffee to permeate the remaining brain cell, this takes much more coffee of late… I,m the only person I know of for whom it requires at least one large bucket of coffee to go get coffee, is that slightly weird?, I like to think more in the range of unique perhaps😊.

After a run through the shower at carwash speed, I grudgingly proceeded to get ready…But first we must locate our shoes….Shoes happen on these feet but rarely, on average about five times per year, I hate them, (evil contraptions),unlike my sister’s shoe shopping is not my bag,,,I hate those too, bags not my sisters😁😁😁😁…from my very youngest years shoes felt confining, uncomfortable, later on I was to learn after some research that folks with Ehlers Danlos(could experience pain just wearing shoes, this explained an awful lot about my childhood😊. I can still hear my poor mother moaning at me, “Put those shoes back on Theresa”!, she did this right up until she left bless her…..Sorry mother I hate to say this, didn’t actually work😉. But I digress hugely, the shoes as it turns out had been banished into the darkened wasteland of the bedroom cupboard, closet, also known as, small chilled area in my room, for which Artic explorers use to train in, and in the summer doubles as another fridge….no it does..😁😁.

After two large coffees, several rather impressive attempts at remembering how to put on actual real people clothes, my left leg seemed was extra affeared at the added prospect of walking further than my miniscule flat floor space, trying it’s hardest to retreat into the same trouser leg as my right,, after the third failed attempt, I physically man handled it into submission, Finally clothed, shod, I went through the whole Keys, phones, wallet, tissues, phone charger routine six times, I like to do this to the head, shoulders, knees and toes music ….this will often take at least another twenty minutes…see why running late is not an option now?😁….. This is of course without the perfume caper…I’m never quite sure if I’ve done it, so I go back several times just to make sure….I think Debbie oft needs a hazardous materials suit and breathing apparatus on in her tiny car….

Talking of, Debbies soon stood smiling at my door, I growl out a perfunctory good morning, living by oneself you kind of lose the whole art of actual conversation, I mean I’m used to chatting to the inanimate objects about the flat, Sage the budgie, pigeons or the plants, things that don’t require a two way repertoire, knowing sentences any longer in Sages case than, ” you alright?”, This is good for at least a second, or “Damn”!!!!!, “Where are you”? Or his favourite “Pervert”,. And call me odd here but I’m not quite so sure Aunty Debbie would appreciate me shouting Pervert!!!!!!!! Across a crowded cafe…(although, no Treez behave…., It’s been some weeks since our last Coffee crusade, we have much to catch up, and after a few minutes it’s like the weeks between meeting up melts away with the icy weather and the car is filled with excited chatter…Jesse in phone land tries to get the odd word in, but listens in somewhat amused …

I never quite know our destination until we are well on the way, I think Debbie likes to find out different places each time, just in case I misbehave and then she doesn’t have to go back in a hurry, that or places she’s not known in😁, think it’s more the second on reflection. …. It turns out this new improved cafe in a remote little village is only about ten minutes away, which is good for Debbie in the circumstances as that’s about when her oxygen tank runs out and she would either have to resort to sticking her head out the drivers side window(no mean feat while attempting to drive😁anything to avoid the clouds of Eau de Cologne emanating from under my fleece jacket, slowly becoming visible from Venus….

Debbie always parks the tiny Nissan as near to the entrance as humanely possible, (again I’m never sure if this is for a quick getaway,, …After a quick drool over all the plants we long for, but cannot afford at this Juncture, the lure of coffee urges us both into a large airy very clean tea room, it’s Windows facing a very scenic prospect out into the fields of a local farm, ..inside is warm, filled with the aroma of coffee, chocolate and cake, senses over load for me…Even so Im hesitant to leave the safety of the doorway…Debbie who was directly behind me, ploughs into my back as I stop suddenly… “What?” She asks suddenly, without turning I whisper. .. ” there’s people” … ” yes Theresa it’s a cafe, that will happen” , … ” But what if they want to talk at me” …she smiles no I think your ok,

Debbie goes up to the smiling young lass behind the counter first to be served, This is the normal modus operandi for us, I think she feels this need to remind me how it’s normally done…(by all you normal people)…I can be normal people right?,. My eyes are immediately drawn to the large array of sugary sweet baked confectionery, trying hard not to get drool over the sparkling glass display case, I do eventually make that final decision, it was difficult there for a while folks, with shelf upon shelf of Fruit buns, sticky buns, cake of every creation, short cake, little tart cases filled with sensuous gem like strawberries covered in glaze upon beds of cream, Chocolate muffins, blueberry, raspberry and white chocolate, cherry ohhhhh my goodness I’m in cake Eden, my cake G spot has gone into the launch sequence and countdown commences …my final selection an XXXL cherry scone, with a tiny pot of fresh buttery thick cream and sweet tangy raspberry Compote….jam!, With this I have my usual trough of Americano coffee, And to my utter delight that coffee was surprisingly delicious, hot, strong with a nutty roasted after taste and plenty of it…

Chairs…..

Oh please indulge me for just a moment or six I beg of you, I know I’m a miserable beggar😁. But I feel compelled to tell you about these chairs I saw,. Now I’m not normally a soft furnishings kinda gal, but folks, when I saw these big bold beautiful over the top screaming bright coloured patchwork chairs, I thought my time had come up and I was in coffee shop heaven, with a halo-ed Craig David playing harp and singing hallelujah….. …or how I imagine it anyhow😁, …I stopped my breath caught in my throat, entranced at the wonder of a world of purple patchwork, all on this one single chair, I lovingly caressed the buttery soft fabric, oooohing and arrrhing under my breathe, then out of nowhere, harsh words ruin my revelry, lay waste to my mellow, explode my Zen to tiny pieces….Debbies voice crashed into my dreamworld, No!!!!!!!!!, “No what I ask innocently enough”?, “No it won’t fit in the car and it can’t come home!” replies Debbie quickly, leaving me without a doubt, …. ” but”?,,, again as if guessing my protestations she says “absolutely not”!!!!, “it’s not coming home with us now or ever “, I turn and sadly meet her eye, giving this beautiful thing a last loving pat….the voice said “just keep moving”…. And I do, for in all fairness to Debbie it would not have fit inside the tiny frame of her Nissan and even if it had, I’m not sure it would make that much of a getaway car….. I was sadly by now too bereft to eat my scone there at the Cafe, but later that same evening alone, i commiserated myself by consuming the all too delicious cherry scone, which even by my standards was a struggle to eat, it was a real whopper folks😉,!!!, When the very last crumb had been eaten, plate cleared away, later that evening I’m ashamed to say I spent close to two solid hours scrolling page after bloody page on “The Zon” (Amazon), for something resembling the chair of my dreams.. You,’ll never guess what though I’ve found it!!!!!!, …😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁. Anyhow my sweet fellow caffeine fiends I’ve immensely enjoyed our time together, but before I leave you please always take care while out there and look after you💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛.

Merry Christmas, Dear Diary…..

I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something out there coming between me and that first beloved molten hot coffee of the morning…. I’ve only been trying since 8:30 this morning, it’s now 11:47…ugh…First attempt, I crept on tiptoe(not easy these days) silently oh so blooming silently out of the bedroom as both Sage( my budgie) and Jesse were still fast asleep…thoughts I will get ahead of the day before they wake…huh like hell, I had just got out of the bedroom door, when Sage starts he’s alarm chirping…. It’s hard to explain unless your familiar with bird sounds, I speak Birdesse yah know!😊…Anyway it’s a higher pitched and insistent call for the uninitiated among us…Much like a toddler losing sight of their parent around the supermarket, just with less tears and Snot😁, …So somewhat desperately in need of the little girls room by now, I have to backtrack grab he’s cage and bring him into the living room, before I can even flick the kettle switch down😊, just not right!!! ….

After pulling back the curtains so Sage can watch the local community pigeon populace…the equivalent of sitting your child in front of the tv for five minutes peace, I can finally go about my morning routine…while the kettles bubbling away, my cup filled with instant ready and waiting, I set about washing and changing from my oversized t shirt while I wait, (which on hindsight was indeed a blessing….I had thought of at first, at least an hour for laying about in deep procrastination) don’t you just love a good procrastinate first thing!!!, I know I do……Plus no one comes Christmas Eve right?!!!!!, I make my coffee, clean up the kitchen, just sit down to enjoy my long anticipated hot caffeine fix!!!, The door bell shrills out……Sage goes into vicious rabid guard budgie mode…(shouting at full pitch) So I can’t even duck behind the sofa now, even if I could duck!!!!!, I cant (It’s at this point i am so glad I’ve gone to the trouble of putting on real clothes …because stood at the door is my lovely neighbour, (her and her wonderful hubby cut my Grass weekly for me during the summer months ….She has her wee chestnut Dachshund Freddie with her, whose somewhat impatient to be going on his morning constitutional …dancing at the end of he’s leash legs crossing faster than Michael Flatly on speed, never mind children its before you were born😊… He’s inquisitive little nose in the air sniffing out good scents…(doggie Facebook) …I’m always genuinely pleased to see my neighbour Katherine(why oh why do I always think she’s called Lorraine though? 😊) . Anyway Lorraine, I mean Katherine is stood looking immaculate at my door, in her other hand a pretty little red gift bag,..it’s around this time I’m so glad I’m not stood in my old baggy t shirt that’s covered in various copper tones from previous hair colouring attempts….I keep it on there as a constant reminder of my favourite shades….which is up somewhere by my left armpit, called Amber blonde…why does that sound like an exotic dancer or worse….Anyhow due to foresight or whatever, im not infact stood in front of my well turned out neighbour in my ancient red Christmas pants😊 and t shirt….

We exchanged gifts, for I too had momentarily morphed into Santa’s little helper….although mine wasn’t quite so fancied up…not sure a plastic Asda shopping bag is quite the same😁, but I chose it’s contents with care, working of the opinion I would far rather spend more on the gifts than wrapping….Plus plus in my defence the bag did have a Christmas scene upon it😊……as we chatted I’m only to aware of the sad fact my coffee is fast reaching the point of no return….anything other the burn your tonsils to bits hot, is inexcusable and cold….uh uh…can’t have it….as Lorraine walked away…..Katherine, I mean Katherine🙄, was hauled down the path by a now desperate doggo, on closing the door i already knew this is the way my morning is shaping up…. All cold coffee and to good intentions😊 three cold coffees later I give up.

This week has been somewhat slow on beany hat making…normally by about now I would have had at least ten made and finished off, but alas like my coffee partaking, I’ve been easily distracted from the task, six complete another four then I’ve finally reached that 40 hats on heads I wanted and will be pleased with…battling tangled yarns, Christmas preparations, present wrapping, visitors, I guess I’ve not done too badly..though In truth i am a little disappointed it wasn’t more, hopefully once Christmas is over and I’ve restocked my fast depleted stock of yarn I can get stuck in again.

Well it’s Christmas eve folks and I hope your all set up, presents wrapped and under the tree awaiting their excited giftees , Turkey prepped, the green methane makers peeled and washed, carrots and cookies out for santa…large Gin for mothers frazzled nerves😊, whatever your doing, your plans ect, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas…those of us alone again..look at it this way, you get to eat when and what you like, fall asleep on the sofa and leave the washing up to its own devices😊, seriously though stay safe, warm and well, take care of yourselves and i,’ll see you the other side of the year….🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💚💚💚💚💚💚

Dear Diary Monday morning…..

For years I had carried around a crumpled piece of gold paper, Until it became too worn and creased, the words upon it now unreadable…those words back some twenty odd years ago, had struck a chord deep within me, I carried the paper about in every jacket pocket I wore, it acted as a kind of talisman to ward off the evil Panic attacks that hit suddenly, especially anytime I ventured outside my front door. I was safe, I had my piece of paper, I could touch it, it was real..unlike the lie, the threat of instant deathly panic attacks bought.. The wording on it?, Simple but effective…”Remember today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday”(Dale Carnegie).

For the other thinker that exists within me, these words bought a modicum of comfort, I’m always running off worried about tomorrow, next week, next year before today’s barely even begun, It can’t be helped, it has always been such, and I’m to old to change now😁, I’ve missed out on so much worrying the days away…And Sunday was no exception, I knew only to well Monday bought with it, a doctor’s appointment, and I really didn’t want to go…there was no reason, nothing bad was about to happen, but my frame of mind wasn’t right, yeah I know when is my mind right ?😁…But each time I go I’ve been sent from pillar to post, seen one specialist after another, each department not knowing what to do for me…I don’t blame them I don’t know either😁, Yesterday I had to visit a musculoskeletal disorder specialist…I had trouble pronouncing it never mind anything else..but after a lifetime you tire of the endless doctors trips only leading to more disapointment, ….,

But I woke up early, one needs to you know, if your going to get a really good amount of anxiety steam up, add one icy cold shower, Two XXL coffees so strong you can hear my cup pleading for mercy two counties over, yup anxiety levels ✔, (I’m nothing if not professional you know folks,. On my bedside organiser sat a bright yellow post it note it glares at me constantly, just to remind me of the obvious(why do we call them that anyway?, Because we don’t actually do we…post it I mean, anyway theres the hastily scrawled words on one side, Cab booked for 10:40am Monday, least I had got it together enough to pre book it friday😁, minor miracle right there!. I sit doing my make up, the clocks hands seeming to spin round at a quick smart pace….why oh why does it do that, it’s not decent ?…

Without to much ado I’m ready and waiting for my cab, which turns up promptly at 10:40 am, I receive a text letting me know it’s sat outside, I like that!…stops me running back and forth to the window every minute checking, Ok it really doesn’t but it sounds good !…I clamber clumsily into the back, and immediately begin chatting the poor drivers ear off, we discuss anything from bulk buying shower Gels to the Biden crises in the USA, (well I do)…there’s got to be a link there somewhere im sure, oh one of those segue thingys,🙄, When ones fully locked and loaded, caffinated up nervous to boot, this mouth has no limits and a mind of its own, ..I hear Jesse sigh contentedly as his finally getting a well earned break, peace at last😁, im sure theres times he longs for my batteries to wear down….think energiser bunny on speed and you’ve got me🐇.

The journeys quick and quite unremarkable, And as the driver pulls up outside the doctors surgery, I happen to glance up at the flashing clock upon the dashboard, oh it’s only showing £10 that’s not so bad…until I look again and see it’s actually showing just a few more noughts…like in the region of £10,000, worth!!…now it was a nice journey and we could possibly argue it came with thrown in added counselling …but it was only ten minutes total, that’s a whopping £1,000 a minute…erm no, …my driver laughs nervously and apologises profusely…it’s not really that he says horrified look upon he’s face…Well thank goodness for that, I begin to feel my bank card tremble somewhere in my RAF wallet, I don’t posses a fraction of that…the driver looks back and tells me it is a more realistic £6, much better!!!phew…I had envisioned for a brief moment me washing their cars for the rest of my days.

After a brief visit with reception…I try talking at them but with a two inch sheet of thick glass and a phone glued to her ear it seemed from indication I was encouraged to take a seat…I spend half hour or so locating one as physically far away from my fellow waitees as possible (without taking one outside of course 😁…Having no immunity and being the local virus magnet is not a good combination…I finally hunt my chair down, it’s one of two right up against the waiting room wall…I can see the doors and the whole room from my vantage point…I get comfortable to do my favourite thing…people watching.

At first there’s just me and two others, they are contentedly staring down at their phones, necks cranned, (these are no fun!!!!), But I don’t have long to wait before a mother comes running in at some speed being dragged along by two young unwieldy children one in each hand, Mum herself only looks a few years older, damn I’m getting old 😁🙄, They sit not far from me, the boy tries to make instant contact…a cheeky shy smile then he’s back hiding…I find myself grinning back…can’t help it..the little girl whose adorable sits on mum’s lap, going in for the strangle hold about her neck…(I will call her Gertrude for the purposes of this missive) ..The boy we will call Tobias (oh yes I like it)….Anyway little Gertie since coming into the surgery has had her index finger quite firmly implanted up her left nostril..seriously it never left her nose once..mean while Tobias is already forming a very effective climbing frame in the centre of the room using chairs..it looks fun I’m tempted to ask could I play…when this stern warning glare, (enough to evaporate you into a pile of ash) from miss reception comes me way, a don’t you dare kind of look…I look away instantly before I’m turned to stone…Little Gertie finger still firmly encased, Is now off mums lap, (mum can finally take a breath now she’s not being strangled)…Gertie decides to read a nice leaflet about heart disease and erectile dysfunction…I’m not sure this is quite suitable reading for a two year old but kids are forward these days now right?!, Mothers now free to check out her phone…am I the only without a phone glued to my hand…hmmm, Gertie goes back for more information, have to give it to this girl she’s obviously more well read than most adults..maybe it’s the whole finger up the nose thing???…I look at my index finger closely, taking a sly look up under my fringe at reception dragon..(I mean lady)…she’s shaking her head in warning…damn she’s good!!!….

Fed up with his ever growing construction, Tobias is now turning his hand to plumbing…it seems the wall radiator needed some adjustments…not to be outdone his sister takes a break from reading about men’s plumbing to help her brother, heads together in a huddle, they are in close discussion, it looked serious there for a moment, maybe it’s curtains for the radiator😁…Tobias quits turning the knobs, and begins kicking it…havnt we all done this at some point….works with car tyres so why not?…Gertie tries the slapping it thoroughly approach and when that doesn’t work an ear splitting scream might!…not achieving their goal Tobias thinks it’s time for tools, grabbing plastic leaflet holders, leaflets nicely carpeting the floor now ….(seems we have part time jobs in interior design also, We begin soundly whacking the offending radiator to within an inch of its life….and I look on confounded, no one there is infact batting an eyelid…including Helga the reception dragon…I go to get up to visit the ladies and maybe join in with the percussion session…in an instant her head shoots up from the computer screen and looks my way, i sit back down quickly I,ll hold it I think….

Just before my name is called out, I see little Gertrude valiantly grappling with a walking frame, dragging it over to where Tobias is by now using mums umbrella to poke the radiator soundly…I don’t want to go in to see the doctor..I want to watch the next upcoming YouTube sensation on how to do radiator repairs at home…but I can’t Helga is looking my way again….so I follow the doctor in. Sighs….

Throughout my talk with the doctor, I hear the banging and crashing now re- commencing in full swing…the musculoskeletal ….oh bone doctor turns to me at this point and asks what is going on out there?, I look at her straight faced oh just some engineers repairing the radiator…she looks at me somewhat confused, I wasn’t about to tell her, would you?….We go on discussing an on going treatment plan for my EDS…she was lovely, very honest, admitting there really is nothing apart from physiotherapy long term…but I already knew that…I have however got to go for a bone scan at some point….oh for joy!. But I thanked her for her time, least someone was doing something…that’s a start…Maybe I should visit Gertie and Tobias,s clinic…I’m sure it’s only a matter of time….😁

As I walk back out both Gertie and her brother are running full tilt inbetween the chairs and patient’s alike, knocking over anything in their path….I worry for Gertie finger still, firmly lodged up her nose, what if she falls?, will her finger lodge up even further forever !!!!!, worse still break up there, doesn’t bear thinking about 😮😮😮😮😮😮,. But as I look back after walking through the automatic doors, I came across a theory(a light bulb moment if you will) maybe just maybe, little Gerties finger is in fact a USB cable, it’s her power source, She’s all plugged in💡💡💡💡….I look down at my finger again….I’m outside by now huh whatcha gonna do now!!!…Miss Helga Medussa Macangry face Dragon lady!!….I jump visibly as a loud rap comes upon the glass behind me…shes only seen me!!!!!….however it was in fact no more than wee Tobias getting my attention and waving an enthusiastic goodbye…..him and his little sister had made my day if they did but know it….. Anyway folks enough from me, I hope your all making the most of the warmer weather…enjoy while you can. It will probably be winter again next week😁 …take care of you 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜