If there’s one thing I’ve learnt recently about living within a frugal household, it’s to use what you have more wisely, whether that’s food stores, money, or just plain Savvy(knowledge). Up until the last few years, truth be told, i never would have said I was particularly intelligent, or even clever come to that..but one thing I was blessed with from early age in abundance was common sense, after all its that very basic of know how that’s got me here in the first place,(that and a rather impressive fuel bill 🙄) I explained about that some weeks back, thats how instead of doing my usual head spinning, eyes rolling, panic mode of previous years, I decided to take matters into my own hands and get something practical done about the situation.

So here we are, about a month into my whole new way of life, Im hesitant to say this experience has been easy or at all fun, but for all the extra hardship, it brings about the gift of invention, creation, plus learning, ..where as in the past I would have used retail therapy to see me through a low patch, I set my mind to finding something to do now instead, and believe me when I say living this way, 24/7 there’s always something that needs your attention,

I rarely cook a meal these days that I cannot stretch for at least another days dinner, I also never eat out of boredom, emotion, or because it’s there, giving up emotional eating for me was difficult as I’ve always self medicated exactly this way, this would have only depleted my store cupboard sooner though…I now eat once or twice daily, I could eat breakfast if I chose to, but coffee first thing, is the only basic food group I need turn to😁,

Simple things have bought about the biggest change, like turning off lights after you leave a room, unplugging things not in use, beating rugs outside, then carpet sweeping instead of the vacuum cleaner, hand washing daily, it’s a bind but I keep my eyes firmly on the prize, being debt free by next year hopefully,

Keeping this in mind, this week alone I came up with two new money saving tips, first is simple and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before now🙄, when I finish with my rabbits 5 litre feed buckets, I keep them to re-use, they have nice firm fitting lid and are super strong, (I use these for everything, from soaking my washing, to store cleaning product or simply washing things down…it was to this end, while I sat out in my front garden yesterday getting warm in the afternoon sun, a lightbulb moment dawned on me right out of the blue, 😁,.why not fill one of these buckets with water and leave it out in the sun?, I don’t know why it never occurred to me before then,. It was too late to try out that day, but it certainly wasn’t today, …the sun gets very hot under my front room window, So that’s where I left my 5 litre tub of cold water.

it sat there approximately three or four hours in full sunlight, Low and behold, some time later I retrieved my bucket, bought it in and for the first time in over a month now, I washed in lovely warm water instead of icy cold, this of course will be precarious to say the least, as the UK is not renowned for its sunny weather, but all this aside though, the luxury of washing in warm water even a few days a week will do me fine 😁. Up until recently I had just taken hot water for granted like we all do, now it’s become a guilty pleasure😁, .

So this led me onto idea number two..Solar power, I cannot stretch to having solar panels here, and even if that was at all possible, I’m not quite so sure my upstairs neighbour would in fact be thrilled with this, (even if I could afford it, which I cant) . So I checked out portable panels, singular and multiple..I confess I’m not quite sure I’m ready for all this kind of technical knowledge just of yet, this is one leap too far, there’s much talk of wires input and out, connectors, batteries, meters..nope uh uh this still freaks me as of yet, more research is needed here. But not to give up totally on the idea, I scrolled pages and pages of Solar power banks. This is not a job for the light hearted or easily bored even, but after an hour, a really cheap packet of silver bells slipping into my basket for my demented buzzard(Sage the budgie) I came across something at long last, a power bank that was indeed within my price range, not only was it on a sale, but the small lightweight but tough Ryoko power bank has some amazing reviews, apparent it even still works after one ladies two rather massive hounds set about it…😁 if it has the dog seal of approval, then it’s fine for the needs of myself, one budgie and a darkness phobic rabbit…

So quick smart we purchased two before the sale ended,. they arrived, well packed and promptly the very next day, I have to say I am this far somewhat impressed, I have them now fully charged up on my living room window ledge, just taking a few hours and I’m really looking forward to putting these through their paces…between these and my other power banks, solar fairy lights I’m no longer kept in the dark 😁, .

There is only the over usage of my trusty kettle I have to come up with fiendish plan for next and apart from the fridge freezer I will be virtually electricity free during the day, it is just a Matter of time before I come up with something though, that much I’m sure of, that or go without coffee, (which just isn’t a language I quite understand 😁) Any ideas of your own your willing to share please let me know, im most grateful for any help given, until next time folks take care of yourselves❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Another long week has passed in the 1950s house,And I’m thus far hanging on in there, although once again temptation has tried its damndest to lure me back into the present 2023. Hasnt helped much, what I in the beginning took to be a harmless head cold, turned into “the Franken-cold” or Covid to the less well initiated. It has made the week Novel that’s for sure, .one thing i just have to mention though, is I’ve developed a whole new found respect for woman of this era,. It’s one thing to clean house without our use of the usual 2023 wizardry when your feeling well, but when your fighting off an illness, this becomes a stupendous battle of wills as I recently found out. And in fairness to those heroines of their time, I’m only cleaning a one bed tiny apartment, not a three bed, two floor semi…

It’s funny though, as I work about here during the day memories of our old council home flood back to the fore, the sounds, smells constantly interupt my thoughts, crashing through my mind, like so many unwelcome visitors at a function, .. Take a Sunday for instance, I find it difficult to imagine any woman cooking that full Sunday Roast dinner for a family, getting it plated up quickly enough, before it went cold, I find this hard enough for myself, but woman like my mother had larger families back then,(five or six children being the norm) . Most weeks after dinner mum would normally produce some kind of dessert or other, after all this though there would be the inevitable sink load of washing up to face,(no dish washer in existence back then) all this done with the aid of kettles and pans of boiling water(we grew up in a home without the luxury of hot water on tap, working instead in a steam filled kitchen, not only tedious but thankless, I hated when it was my turn to do the dishes….it was nearly always my turn 😊, my siblings choosing to disappear magically the moment dinner was eaten…

As I delve deeper into the lifestyle, I have realised things take that much longer, (even for a small flat with just myself), Even making the bed is no longer just a matter of pulling over the Duvet, No now there’s sheets and the three layers of fleece blankets to consider, all have to be straightened out, after my fight with them in the night, it’s a bind, but I keep in mind All the while I’m worth the extra effort, plus the comfort of a well made bed is a must,(not up to hospital corners as of yet though😁).

Through no fault of my own, I do have to make use of my air fryer, microwave and small one ring electric hob, this is only because the stove here is obsolete and probably lethal it sits in its corner untouched, I mainly use the oven part of it as much needed storage 😁, I’m still trying to stick to my weekly budget, which I’m finding easier as the weeks pass, occasionally I go slightly over when I treat myself to some fresh fruit or need detergent.

Apart from more time consumption, and putting in more hard graft one things for sure when the weather changes, so do your days, trying to get your washing dry for instance can take three or four days, just in time for the next lot, here’s where I get all inventive and open a window, stick the airer in front of it, which is fine but when it’s wet and chilly outide, then of course inside, I sit about huddled hiding under numerous blankets around a solitary hand warmer while it merrily blows a gale throughout..😁,

Whether or not to match the era or I just felt so inclined😁, I had a fancy to play 50s and 60s music, as I dash my trusty Ewbank carpet sweeper up and down the carpets, somehow songs like working on the chain gang almost feels appropriate in its own way, ..as time goes on though I would like to find ways be more energy efficient or actually self sufficient, I’m still unsure how or if I can manage this, I have to believe there is a way forward…I cannot use solar panels as I would dearly like to as this is a privately owned property, I am however extremely inventive and will come up with more ways to cut corners and more importantly these ever rising bills…Once more before I leave I really would like to give a shout out to all those woman who kept house without the aid of gadgetry you have my new deep found respect…Ladies you were all heroes, as are the many parents of today who not only raise families, keep house but then do full time jobs, …Anyhow enough of this, I’ve carpets to beat, and sofa to attack with the dustpan and brush…take care all and stay safe out there ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

So here we are embarking on yet another week of living virtually 1950s styleee, this will of course now mean my first full month, it hasn’t been all plain sailing by any means, but my routine is a least sort of set up, there have been those days where I must admit I’ve strayed off that somewhat straight and narrow path, specially this week, a couple of days I didn’t just stray, I went right off the beaten track into the undergrowth…it’s ok living this way until your body begins most vehemently to protest,which mine began in the week, somehow getting up faced with its usual icy shower, going down to the river to beat the wash against an obliging rock (ok slight exaggeration there on my part) the sink😁, just didn’t fill me with the joys of spring,

Confession

Saturday on waking I was in fact more than ready to go turn on the water heater, fling my clothes in the washing machine and drag out the now dusty Vacuum cleaner from its hiding place in the bedroom cupboard, (swear these gadgets are having an easier time of things than I am, I think actually their all off enjoying a holiday someplace, and any day now I’m expecting a post card from them “saying glad your not here”) back to being serious though this thought filled me instantly with guilt and remorse, I had started on this journey to fulfil a commitment(pay a large bill) …and the word commitment is the name of the game, usually when things get tough and rocky, I waver in my course, I hear those doubtful nagging voices of my past, saying ” you know this is too tough” your only going to give up halfway, why not now, you never commit to anything….this infact instead of making me feel defeated, it put my determination foot to the peddle, things in our world never are meant to be easy, life certainly isnt, but where life’s concerned I’ve never been ready to give up, so I will face this challenge head on with that same bloody minded stoicism it deserves….

By Saturday afternoon I had discovered why everything seemed to take that bit longer, like trudging through Manuka honey(would say Molasses only I don’t like it). Friday night I had suffered long bouts of chills, these alternated with fevers, when my nose began dripping, I knew either I was allergic to my new way of life(no Treez that’s not a legitimate way out😁) or I had in fact the beginnings of a cold, nice!!!, I suspected something a miss, but as you know I not only live alone, I don’t socialise at all either, So where it came from I’m not going to try and guess, but it’s here now and though it’s not conducive with cold showers and doing chores without the help of electronic gadgets I’m determined to push on …

There have been a few mishaps along the way here and there,(or as I like to call them laughingly, learning curves😁) like when I hit on the brilliant idea of cooking up a whole chicken instead of frozen pieces, the idea here being, chicken for the whole week,(keep this in mind)All the while only using one lot of electricity, plus I love cold chicken, so no heating it up again once done., But what I didn’t bank on and really should have, was I do really love cold chicken….I hate to say it and it’s with some embarrassment that I do, the chicken only actually lasted two days 😳, this in the world of budgeting does not make economic sense at all, if I could have eeked out said chicken for the week it would have been more cost effective…but that’s not taking me into account😁, so it’s back to frozen chicken pieces for me, which are cheaper than fresh chicken and help someone without portion control manage😁 ….lesson learnt.

Remembering to remember….

During the day apart from boiling the kettle for coffee, and my fridge freezer, which is on permanently of course, I try not to use any electric, hence the ban on gadgetry..(I wasn’t sent to my room and banned from its use) . What I do have though at my disposal are four power banks, these of course do have to be charged, this in theory should be achieved at night, when the tariff is somewhat cheaper😁, I say in theory here, because by the time I haul my tired body into bed at night, guess who forgets to hook them up to the electric?….this is an area I have to improve on and very quickly, …

There has been the odd discovery along the way, as you know on waking I put all yesterday’s clothes in a large bucket of cold water, that I have pre swirled a cap of bleach and small drop of detergent in, you leave this to either Marinate over night, or if not while you have a cuppa and play ludo online😁, the bleach won’t effect your wash if you’ve mixed it well, what it will do though on the other hand is kill of bacteria and leave your was smelling beautiful, specially if you line dry it, ..And in the spirit of none wasting, this bleachy detergent mix then gets poured down my Loo, give it time while you rinse your wash, attack it with your trusty brush and tahdah, you have a sparkling throne fit for a king, works brilliantly….

All I need is one of those funky cross over aprons(pinny) a headscarf, few curlers underneath and I really will be in the spirit of the fifties, Apron may keep my clothes clean too, this venture is a lot harder than when I first thought about it, and I guess if I’m being honest …if I really had thought it through in the beginning it would never have got off the ground, but I am here now with a crazed determination to see this through, even if it’s just for the duration of paying the bills, ..forgot to mention there is one rather large plus side on this…I have lost 8lb in the past week alone, whether it’s through the extra effort of cleaning or dietary budgeting, likely a bit of both, this part of the experience I like a whole lot ….Anyway folks back to the grindstone, I’ve washing to get in off the line and floors to go over with the carpet sweeper….yet to take the rugs out to beat, but that’s not saying it won’t happen😁, take care out there all, and hope your enjoying the sunshine..❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Getting turned off

Living within the frugal lifestyle as well as it’s erm interesting upsides(mainly cutting back on living costs, I will think of more along the way honest😁) there are those Disciplines you really just have to adhere to..like turning off those lights when you walk out of the room(do you remember your parents screaming at you to do this when you were younger?, I do and remember also as soon as I had my first flat, I left all the lights on all over, just because I could😁) I’ve now grown over the months not only respect this, but learnt the hard way why my parents were indeed right.(I have the bills to prove it), Unplug those things when not in use, yeah I hear you, (but your going to use them in a moment right!?, Wrong! As much of a bother as going round switching off things are, it’s far better to expend that bit of your energy, than pay some large corporation for the use of theirs, especially when your not using the item at the time.

Handwashing(wearing clothes is the bane of my life…..

On waking up, Ive become most grateful for these wonderful lighter mornings, not only does it mean I do not need to switch on lamps to avoid stumbling into objects, that I swear have moved about in the night, but I find I’m waking up that much earlier, I’ve fallen into this kind of routine, one my mother must of had over some fifty years ago…up until three weeks previously, my first thought on waking was always coffee!!, my mind normally just refuses point blank to function without its strong caffeine infused fix, But that was yesterday, now my first thought infact is, is it raining?, if not, I will look out of my window up into the sky to check out the cloud situation…it really doesn’t matter anyhow though as that washing “Will be done”!!!!, (No matter the weather), when you hand wash everything, the last thing you need is to let it build up until you have a mountain of dirty smelly smalls,(who am I kidding) And believe me dirty socks have a life of their own and will at any opportunity grab you by the throat in the night,. So each morning as the sun rises, the dawn chorus begins in earnest, (I throw open the Windows and sing oh what a beautiful morning!😁😁 ..No no what actually happens, is I fumble my way out into the kitchen and grab “the Soakinator!!!!!”, Sounds brilliant doesn’t it?, Almost like a new invention…But folks what this actually boils down too, is a large bucket I fill with cold water, a cap of bleach, cap of washing detergent and swirl with and old wooden spoon like crazy thing, (for other recipes😁)..to this add yesterday’s clothes, and leave to soak for two days,(sorry ok mean an hour or two,) then and only then you actually get chance to not only boil the kettle, but do anything else you can think of in the whole known universe before finally facing up to the dreaded “icy cold shower torture”, suddenly the thought of the upcoming washing, rinsing and repeat doesn’t seem near as bad…

Becoming rational

One of those highlights I was going to mention earlier,(no honestly there are some😁) you get excited by those things that until this point in life, Had become mundane, like tomorrow my rations will magically appear, via the Morrisons grocery truck(Morrisons is a grocery store), I never would have believed that having a few groceries delivered would become exciting, (hang on to your hats guys things are gonna get ultra thrilling now😁. Theres Nothing more magical to a frugal shopper than half price Falafels, no I’m not swearing at you I promise😁, their these little balls😳 of herby chickpeas goodness(how does one say Falafel I wonder?) I’ve no clue myself, but what I do know is they are on offer this week, their easy to use plus nice and filling…So of course I bought three packs😁, cottage cheese was another bargain, …shopping no longer is just a necessity, it’s a art form, one i am becoming increasingly good at, I plan my meals strategically, no more just spare of the moment flung together cooking for moi, oh no, it now takes care and forethought. My meagre budgeted rations now get stretched out throughout the week, Ive taken to eating those left overs,I would once have carelessly tossed away,, plus i make my portion size much smaller, I have learnt if I’m very hungry to pile up extra veggies on my plate(frozen veg being the cheapest form to do this).

We are though now into week three,and even I have adjusted to the changes, it’s not been all fun and roses, there have been mornings, like today, when .1. I didn’t sleep well so prising myself out of my bed to begin the dreaded routine took vast amounts of nagging at myself(this invariably never works) then much bribery of the coffee variety.. .2. Today was also a very high pain threshold day, pushing one’s shoulder back into its socket may be a great party trick and earn you free drinks all night normally😁(it has in the past) but not quite so much joy when your faced with a large bucket of cold wash to get through, … Then there’s the Cold showers when it’s taken you all night to get warm, this is also quite the experience believe me!, But what this does make you realise is the amount of things one wastes or has taken for granted, my recycling and rubbish bins are now both only getting a quarter of the use they had previously, this surprised even myself, I will from now on in be much more mindful…

Tips..

I’m open to suggestions from my fellow frugalers out there, anything from recipes, bargains, things you have found to work for yourself, like finding the winning lottery numbers 😁, no seriously though if you’ve come up with some good practical ideas please share them, ones never to old to learn…well speak with you all again soon, take care out there folks, look after you ❤

The boring bit: budgets.

Shopping on a budget can be bothersome, if not somewhat trying. That said, it does make one become inventive with household accounting. My budget is currently at roughly under £50 per week. (I can see Mr Saville, my old math teacher, tutting and giving me yet another C here, telling me I must try harder. 😁.) I know of some people who quite successfully have halved this and I hope with time I can, too. If halving, at least take off another £10. Each week I start off my shopping by adding things to my online cart without checking out. This gives me the chance to add or omit items that i think I can live without. (Like cake! How I miss cake! 😁. Even the word is gorgeous, right?) But as fabulously delectable as it is, it’s no longer on my list of essential foods. Well, it is, but I just can’t bloody have any. 😁. Same goes with chocolate, crisps and chips. All essential food groups I’m convinced (😁.) just not if you want other foodstuff in your cart. (sighs.) I just have to be sensible. (Oh boy!)

Vegetables.

Using a great many and a wide variety of veggies in my diet, I find it not only bulks up my meals but, let’s face it, they are boringly good for you. Now that’s all well and good but they’re not quite so healthy for ones bank balance. I’ve watched the prices rise substantially over the months and was left in some what of a quandary. I was getting to that stage of either eating fresh veg or meat. Here is where I compromised. After much researching I found my store sells veg quite cheaply in frozen mixed bags. Not only is this a much cheaper way of shopping, it’s great if you’re lazy like me: a cut-corners kind of cook. Takes minutes in the microwave. No chopping, no washing or mess or waste. It’s quick, easy and just as good for you,. The biggest plus is there’s no time frame for usage. Over the months this has saved me an absolute fortune.

Bargain hunting.

Do you ever get that buzz like I get from finding something half price? I have to admit, it gives me a real thrill. (Something has to these days. 😁.) Searching for those cut price items is just like going hunting, scouring for those on sale items (with just my trusty weed-wacker to hack back the undergrowth of lush temptations, slathered in cake repellent) until… there it is in a clearing! Those wondrous tins of thirty-six pence whole tomatoes. Those are definitely going in the cart. Not just one but two! That’s the budget blown. 😁. Kidney beans, lentils… all jokes aside, folks, these are a cupboard must have. I’m a huge chili fan, so cut price kidney beans are of real excitement in my house.

There’s also the obvious, like buying store home brands which most of us have been doing for a while now. Before giving chocolate the big heave-ho, I discovered (quite on the off chance, you understand, harmlessly checking out, er, other stuff on that shelf) store brand bars of chocolate. Firstly, I must say I cannot remember getting any bar of chocolate for 36p since my childhood. 😁. (That being back in the day when there was fire-breathing dragons and unicorns roaming Tesco.) But out of sheer desperation I clicked on it, not just once but twice! (Oops!) 😁. (Yeah, I know. In all fairness to me, though, chocolate had not passed these lips in over a month. Okay, it never passes my lips ever, opting rather to just open my cake hole and shove it in.) 😁. I did, however, wonder some time later… well after I had already clicked on it of course… how can this bargain basement chocolate taste halfway decent? I mean, how can they afford to sell it at this price? Does it, in fact, taste of those really cheap pet shop dog chocolaty drops? (Remember those?) How do I know what those taste like? (Ain’t telling! 😳.) But we all did it, right? Then imagine my shock and most pleasant surprise when, after the first tentative bite, it was actually okay! No, not Cadburys, Galaxy or Lindt you understand, but if you find yourself craving something sweet, it’s definitely worth giving it a try.

I have to say though, rather than becoming depressed by all this austere economic budgetary wizardry, I find myself rather enjoying the challenge. Admittedly there have been times I’ve faltered, nearly straying off my path via some evil temptation on Amazon or another. (I have heard their stocks have gone down in recent times. I knew I had issues but really!? 😳. 😁.) I even had one regular driver pull up here outside last week just ready to knock before he realised his mistake. No, seriously! This bad habit now broken though is a lifetime one for me. I mainly did it from boredom or bouts of depression anyway. I didn’t really need half the stuff I bought over the months at the time. (But only now is most of it coming into its own. Now I no longer feel that overpowering urge to splurge.

Each evening I sit and, as the light slowly fades away and dusk makes its presence known, I’m grateful for the lengthening days. My two lamps sitting idol until around 9pm most nights now. I do, however, make full use of some solar lamps I bought last summer (another Amazon purchase now fully coming into their own) as are my four power banks. One keeps my phone on the go during the day so I can still be in phone land with Jesse. I charge them up after midnight when it’s a cheaper electricity tariff. This lifestyle I realise wouldn’t be for everyone. It can tell on you at times. I have to be extremely disciplined (something, I might add, I’m really not) but by next year I want to be bill free, solvent, in the black… whatever form achieving this takes I’m willing to give it my all. I’m lucky though, I know. I have the full support of those around me. They cheer my efforts and make something that could have been so damn miserable an adventure. I know I have learnt, once and for all, the things worth having in this life cost nothing, but are indeed of immeasurable value. Take care of yourselves, folks, till next time we meet. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💛

It was on one of our many conversations of late(that’s of course myself and Jesse’s) I realised with a start that I had no clue who or what I am,(yes I know the important basics like I’m human, love Jesse and my children) But there I am heading rapidly toward yet another landmark birthday., And for instance at one point I didn’t even have a clue about my likes and dislikes,. Horses, dogs, music, reading, classic films etc were another massive factor throughout life, but what then? …. Take reading for example:, All my adult life I have read the same authors, there being a sort of safety net in that one particular Genre, like returning home after an upset seeking comfort in the familiar surroundings.

Most of the books Ive read were what’s laughingly I suppose called chic lit, (I hate using those words or admitting to it even) Every book without exception began the same, Girl met boy, girl hated boy in the beginning chapter’s, then it switched she fell passionately in love with him, he of course was a rich a playboy, helpless woman flocking round him ect ECT ECT! … My mother bless her heart loved these type of books, she also had two favourite authors whom she read virtually every book bought out by,. Therefore i read them also, doing so with a view that we could share them and discuss as we read rapidly through the pages ..it gave us something to talk about,shared interest!

But pretty sokn with each new book by either author I found myself recognising a set pattern,. before long I knew the plots by the first chapter,but I continued down this known route for many years though, with each new book I was left wanting, empty, This in fact actually went on until the death of my mother..losing her was not only a blow and massive shock, but with her went my passion for reading, one of the main reasons there for too I suppose,. I would intermittently try to pick up the odd book and funnily enough I still found myself to buying them , .each time I visited charity shops, supermarkets, I find myself looking down the endless rows, almost searching for something to jump out at me, provide me with that escape between the ink filled pages I had previously sought and found..now though the words somehow looked jumbled, they wouldn’t sit in their orderly lines, spoke in an almost foreign tongue, and i was left feeling instead of lost in comfort, just abandoned, ..So as years flew by, I tried my hand at many hobbies desperate to fill the void left by previous characters and their adventures..But they didnt excite or capture my imagination.

Try as I may, books had indeed lost their magic and I had to face up to the fact, I did not have the first clue how to recapture it… that was until one Christmas some time later, there under the small but well appointed, glitzed up glam tree sat numerous boxes and intriguing wrapped gifts, I love Christmas with all the excitement and almost a child like passion…it’s a big deal in my house, my Son Andrew that year handed me a square heavy object, I knew instantly by its shape and recognisable weight what it was, my heart sank, not because I’m ungrateful for the thought entailed, but it was a gift, therefore special, especially from a loved one…

As I removed the last vestige of shiny jolly faced Santa wrap, the cover created a surprising feeling, one unfamiliar, I felt a spark of interest, I loved also that new book smell, it’s weight, the feel of it in my hands…that book was by C J Sansom, it was in fact a Genre I had never attempted before,. I knew though without doubt I would read it, even if was for the fact it was a thoughtful Gift bought with me in mind, A few days later I set out on my new voyage of discovery,. The first pages admittedly seemed almost a chore, but as I turned each and every new page, something happened without my note, I in fact had become immersed, I found myself waking up early, (4am to be precise) making a steaming mug of tea(yes bc, before coffee I was a tea drinker 😲, I know shocking!, there sat under my bunch of soft fleece blankets curled up on the sofa I read, not just read though, Now i devoured each page, each well written line and sentence,. Time seemed a traitor, the clocks hand spun round at an alarming rate, the sun crept up into what was surely just minutes ago, that dark star filled sky..I hated letting go of the books hold over me, 1: because i was scared the magic spell it wove around its words, it’s hold over my imagination would be instantaneously lost forever once more, 2: I know it sounds weird, but I thought by the simple act of closing those dust covers together, the books characters would carry on their lives without me, I felt excluded…so it was with regret each day I put in my book mark, signed and carried out my days tasks…

Coming to the end of that book was almost as traumatic as it’s beginning, at the same time as needing to find out the conclusion, I wanted it to go on forever, it was a bitter sweet moment as I turned the last chapters pages, I wasn’t just finishing a book, but it felt like the end of a relationship, which of course in an way it was. After I tried with little success to read what were much loved old favourites, what had once been familiar, safe, loved, treasured, now in fact lost all appeal, And with them I lost my way, my love of the written word..

It didn’t take long though before I discovered more of Sansoms, books, And with each new title, also a renewed hunger returned, I couldn’t work out why at first, but looking back of course I know now..his writing was new and fresh, Gone was that same old Genre of love betwixt the lines, in its stead, a refreshing mix of history fact mixed with fiction, I love learning anything history wise, Andrew had cleverly known this when choosing that very first title…very

Over the years since those early days and first books, reading has come and gone like friends have,. Sometimes almost coming to a standstill (never forgotten now though) .. the last five years in fact I have barely picked up a book, life since I met Jesse, fell in love, all the fun of the immigration battles, moving house, health issues have been adventurous enough thankyou!, Even with those long lonely hours to fill, I just couldn’t concentrate, my mind seemingly too full to concentrate… that was until the beginning of this year,. while without any real concentration I flicked through books in my ever growing library on my tablet..despite not reading still, that need to buy books hasn’t grown any less😁…one title stood out from all the others …spoke to me if you will…That book is called The reading List by Nisha Adams, again it’s a different style of story than my usual, (although what am I saying now I know longer have that “usual”. ..It starts quite sadly with a bereavement, A wonderful spritely 70 year old gentleman loses the love of his life, (his wife) it’s also about a voyage into the love of books, unlike my own, this is in fact new to him, along his path though he meets wonderful new people, he befriends a 17 year old troubled teen whose caring for her mother, a man recently broken up from his girlfriend. and with this a discover of a book his wife had loved, then theres a list of books she had distributed about before her death, with the words in case you might need it..each of them wants to complete the list, …as you read the book you find yourself compelled along the way too.

So here I am on my own new path, not only reading the titles on the list, but along the way discovering different and exciting authors, One had been so enthralling I hungrily trawled it’s pages all that day, only stopping for bathroom breaks, that even was in truth hit and miss😁, the book a page turner was in fact, The kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini..never had I read a more beautiful but tragic indepth book…when an author can change your whole way of thinking about a subject while leaving you wanting more, you know it’s been a worthwhile read….

Since January I’ve read 12 or more books, each one leaving me with a parting gift..a hunger for that next title, then more over the next, I want to make this truly a journey of discovery, one finding new and exciting authors, thus finding out more about myself, my likes, passions, and with them myself…I’m not sure how long in fact this hold over me books will have …but while I undertake this last few chapters of life I intend fully to make it the best chapters yet…..the end

ps…To keep you up to date on mine and my new bread machines adventures, yesterday I made another perfect example of a loaf of bread…it was a sight to behold and not a fluke like the first success, this one was in fact though an experiment in nerves, I was daring folks, adding a mixture of dried chopped herbs, parmesan cheese and garlic pepper…the first slice I ate warm and just as I cut it, naked(that’s the bread) I do spare the neighbours where I can, take care of yourselves folks stay safe out there…..

Pps..if you have come across any books you have read that have created a real impact, why not share them with me let’s share a new journey for a while😁😁😁😁😁😁😁xxxx🍞

Back about two weeks or so ago, I had this mammoth craving for some hot buttered toast,(it happens to us all every once in a while, though nearly always when there’s not a slice of bread(mouldy or otherwise) in the house to be found, and of course always always either last thing at night or worse still in the middle of, .. Not driving means, I can’t just run out in my fluffy polar bear pjs, slippers with rampant bed hair, to the nearest garage either(this is somewhat lucky for them I might add😁,. So I invariably go without, but while scrolling through Amazon spring sales on a wet Saturday afternoon, (as one does), I came across a real Bargain priced Bread maker, at first I kept on scrolling, thinking it’s just another thing I have to try to find room for in my tiny doll house size kitchen,.

So i moved on rather swiftly to look at other things Amazon had most thoughtfully thought I was in desperate need of, The exciting glow in the dark bicycle pump or maybe Some super comfortable boxer shorts in lurid lemon, or vibrant vermilion, couldn’t imagine my love in either 😁(in all fairness though they did indeed look roomy and comfy, if you see what I mean…But try as I may that bread maker was stuck firmly in my cell like mind…I imagined waking up to fresh still warm just baked bread, it’s yeasty scent circulating about the flat,..butter sinking slowly and deliciously into it, I drooled at the prospect, …but I couldn’t get away from where would it live in my dwindling space..huffing I shoved it in my basket before I went to make coffee, this indeed needed some thought,

So much so I decided to sleep on such an in-depth decision😁, (I know people are out there right now making life and death decisions, and here am I unable to decide on a blooming bread maker….that night as I slept I swear, I dreamt of bread, every kind of bread, big beautiful farmhouse Cobs, French bread, soft aromatic Parmesan and Olive bread, Date and walnut with hunks of strong nutty cheddar cheese, a big bouncy bloomer..(no no that’s bloomer as it bread folks not drawers, knickers, pants😁😲).Invariably I woke up hungrier than a hungry thing, hours later, the craving for toast ever present, in fact not only present but growing to immense proportion,s, I was ready to send for a cab at one point to fetch some and hang the cost😁 ., instead I reached over for my tablet I was gonna order that bread machine come what may, this time it was happening, I was determined, never sure of anything more right!!!!!?, yes this was it😁…..well that was until my sleep blurred vision took note of the price …..it doubled😳, it was going to in fact cost too much dough(sorry just couldn’t resist…but doubling the price was crazy…I backed right out of Amazon fast and didn’t return ….

Moving on rapidly with my day, which I might add did not fair any better,. See us folk with EDs, (no we are not talking about a male erm ticklish issue here😁,. No instead Ehlers Danlos syndrome is the culprit, I was born with it. It comes with a wide range of various health issues..but one that’s little known about is the clumsiness side of things, as a wee child I was always falling over, dropping things or managing to cause mayhem somewhere much to my mother’s annoyance….but even now a fully fledged adult doesn’t mean I escape this….that morning alone while cleansing my face, I had inadvertently managed to get a huge glob of white cleanser in my eye, how you ask?no don’t ask it’s something I excel at…the more I dabbed at it, the worse it become, my eye stung, and watered continually, even after I had removed the very last residual of offending white gloop….

Reaching across to grab the box I store my meds in, I must have misjudged distance(another effect of EDs,) and the tablets went tumbling upon the floor, the whole lot, …this was just the beginning of a long list of mishaps…you ever tried putting make up on an eye that won’t stop watering…well let me assure you it’s damn near impossible. as I tried drying my eye delicately, I spread black mascara down my cheek,. I began at this point to wonder which God I had offended to earn such wrath, I lit a large lavender pillar candle at one point in vain hopes I might appease whatever Deity I had caused upset too, only for the too short match and the too long candle to burn my thumb nail, sending vile burnt nail scented whispers of smoke about the room and a nice red blistered thumb…I blew the candle out quickly before I set ablaze to my house….😁…

I decided the best course and maybe the safest was to lay on my bed and read until Jesse woke up, this being not only the cowards way out, but causing the least damage to myself and my surroundings,.I didn’t have long to wait however though, we were soon going about our usual routine, making coffee and chatting for an hour before starting the day in earnest…I swiftly gloss over any minor issues and we talk about the serious points at hand, like no bread for toast that morning or the doubled price of the bread maker,😁. Throughout my day there’s still odd glitches but i,m an old hat at these things by now…..

The next day though while taking in an Amazon delivery I was in fact expecting, I was handed another rather large cumbersome box, (well unless eye pallet make up had grown in statue over night, something was indeed a miss, ..checking the name and address, I confirm it is in fact for me.

Intrigued I start with the big box first,, paper cuts not with standing I manage to finally man handle my way through the layers of endless brown tape without to much injury, ..there sat amongst wrappings, the perfect bread machine, I swear I heard choral music, angels were singing, the sun parted the dark clouds and in that minute I’m visioning that first 2lb loaf of golden bread….my mouth waters…

I knew instantly the where’s and hows, because sat quietly for once pretending to work away, a huge grin on his cheeky face sits Jesse, ” oh yes I meant to tell you about that a voice breaks through,my dreams of bread goodness”. ” Happy birthday he adds. ” in fact it’s not my birthday for two more weeks, but once his minds set there’s no shifting Jesse., But of course I’m thrilled and can hardly wait to get started,im already imagining my kitchen filled floor to ceiling with beautiful loaves ….

But last minute nerves, see me in fact wait until Jesse sleeps later that night, much later😳, . Stealing out into the kitchen in the dead of night, recipe book clutched in my hot little hand, bare foot and cold I open the page to gluten free bread…as I read down the list of ingredients, I know i already have everything I need…Gluten free flour, olive oil, yeast, salt, sugar….sugar!!!!!!?, I had forgotten about that..it’s been years since I had made bread…I shuffle about at the back of my cupboards, tins, packets and boxes landing everywhere, but it’s all in vain there’s not a grain of sugar to be found anywhere…but there is honey…surely honey will work right!?

I weigh out the ingredients, follow the recipe to the letter(except for the sugar of course replacing this with honey), it only takes moments to get everything in the machine compartment, ohhhh plus flour on the kitchen counter, in the sink, up the wall and over my t shirt 😁, So I’ve covered the flour section of the recipe…good job it’s wheatfree😁, I set the machine to work, pushing the required buttons, holding my breath and saying a prayer to the yeast goddess that my dough will in fact rise…now to do the difficult part of bread making….clearing up!..

The machine whirls, it’s pulsing start stop mixes accompanying me while I work at putting my kitchen back together, a semblance of its original state…I for once don’t mind this, I kept always in mind the bread…wonderful warm buttered bread….however it doesn’t take long to establish that instead of the perfect round dough ball the recipe book assures me I can expect by now…there’s this white sticky oozing gloop in its place….it looks absolutely nothing like dough…in fact it’s much more akin to that wall filler you can buy in those convenient tubes…I’m tempted to take the still warm pulsing ooze and fill the large growing crack in my bathroom with it, but I add another spoon of flour in the hopes it will correct the consistency of the mix and flounce off to bed, maybe the bread fairies will visit in the night?…

Next morning however as I creep quietly back out to my kitchen and gingerly lift the lid of the machine..I’m greeted with instead of lovely bread!, it’s more like the creature from the black lagoon, it has not risen at all, it sits there almost looking back at me defiantly. I decide instantly we won’t mention this ever…,to anyone!!!!, what happens in my kitchen, stays in my kitchen. I make coffee and pretend it didn’t happen😁,

Later on that afternoon I spend time cleaning up the machine, dropping the now weighing a ton cold heavy mix wiith disgust into my bin., After which once again I begin to repeat the exercise this time with an added ingredients(stubbornness and determination), I set about weighing, measuring with the mind set maybe just maybe I did something wrong, I had though earlier that day watched numerous YouTube videos on using my machine in preparation, it’s recipes, type of ingredients.,I was now ready surely?, this time it was going to happen..in three short hours I would be buttering home made bread,.

I closed the lid, press the button and walk away in the knowledge it was now in the lap of the gods, I could do no more. I distract myself for the time it takes, tempted all the time to go and see how things are going, but I refrain whether from nerves or in the hopes if I don’t look, it would all work out. However three hours later I get my answer…😐the same thing had happened once again, instead of a beautiful loaf of bread, there almost grinning back at me is the self same gloop…I’m at once disheartened, and if it wasn’t for the fact it had a gift from Jesse, I can confess here and now I would have shoved the machine to the back of some cupboard or another never to see the light of day again, just gathering dust….

But it was a gift, a lovely thoughtful gift and therefore I won’t give up., I try twice more, and with each time I become more deflated than the bread I had hopes of, I feel a complete failure, hearing ghostly voices in my head laughing at me, hauntingly pointing out all my previous disasters., But unlike all those previous occasions, I carry on…I ordered different flour, yeast and in fact also sugar in the end, And when it arrives once again I sneak off out into the kitchen like a thief, I want to be alone with my failure, if indeed all goes wrong….

But in fact what actually happened was the opposite, there Sat in my machine later that day, was this beautifully formed wonderful first 2lb loaf of bread, I could not believe my eyes, it was glorious, and I and my bread machine had combined to do this..we had made bread…I stand back and admire our handy work, it is indeed perfect! And I for one can hardly wait to cut myself a slice…and believe me I dont!😁, …it was light, fluffy, filled with air pockets, a sight to behold, I enjoyed every glorious mouthful, I’m glad I didn’t listen to my inner demons, whether it was the wrong flour, yeast or just bad luck I no longer care, now I have cracked it…I can see many happy years ahead for me and my Amazon basics bread machine…whatever your doing this weekend have a Happy Easter folks and take care of you x💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞

I would firstly like to say I woke up feeling like I didn’t want to move my achy body or do a darn thing today(but I can’t do this as it implies that I actually slept in the first place,. when infact I know full well I didnt). It all began roughly around 2am this morning, when a somewhat tired Jesse looked up from his keyboard where just moments previously he had been feverishly working away on a project… He asked quizzically, “what day is it today”? …half asleep by then, I look at him and with all seriousness, and say “Tuesday”, . Jesse replies back no actually it’s Wednesday.., I try to take this on board for a moment, my sleep deprived mind in non co operation mode, Surely not I muse, it had to be Tuesday right?, It felt like a Tuesday, looked like a Tuesday ….I know, I know what does a Tuesday look like?, Answers on a postcard please, (there no prize but it could be fun) Anyhow this totally rocked my orbit for me….I’m slowly processing this new and confusing information😁, when wham! I realise it has infact gone 2am, not only that but on a Wednesday morning, and I hadn’t taken out the recycling bin😳😱😳, to any “normal” person this is no big deal, the bin was only half full anyway, or is that half empty?hmmm, but once this dawns on me, I can no longer settle or concentrate….

Our bin collection is early morning here, anywhere between 6 or 7 am, it’s 2:30,. I see what your thinking, well just put it out now and have done, forget about and sleep right ????😁, Nope I couldn’t do that…shh the sleeping are neighbours….you ever tried to trundle one of those blooming bins quietly?…believe me it’s impossible, yes Ive tried😁, so there’s only one thing for it, take it out at 6, …that’s only four hours away…you’ve got this Treez,

By now Jesse is settle down softly sleeping for the night, we had put on a good old favourite Nordic noir detective series called Beck to sleepwatch(yes it’s thing)…perfect bedtime viewing lol, …I lay awake making it through the first episode, my eyes closing off and on from time to time, but I’m filled with a determination not to give in to this, it’s not happening, I need to get this bin out..eyes droop slowly down as I think this, it’s a conspiracy, I’m sure of it, .I do doze momentarily though, I must have…because when I look up at my tablet screen again, there in all his glory stood in just his tight Speedo underwear is a man flexing his errrrr muscles, yes muscles that’s it😁, talking very straight faced, deadly earnest about male incontinence wear….woahhhhh screeching to a halt here! Hang on there a cotton picking moment, what???? ..unless Detective Beck is moonlighing doing the odd commercial or has an issue he is seriously wanting to share with half the free world, theres something amiss…..when your half asleep and its 4am, your minds gone AWOL for the night, the closed sign till further notice well and truly up…You find you just can’t take your eyes from the screen..😁😳, I now can’t get this vision out of my mind, it’s burnt, most likely permanently, for all time on the backs of my eyes ..after sitting eyes blinking watching another fifteen minutes of the programme, I discovered that what I had actually just witnessed was in fact a commercial…I had inadvertently put on Freevee….phew my favourite detective was not reduced to selling depends pants for men on my telebox…I was beginning to feel sorry for him, even thinking maybe about starting his own go fund me page….that’s a relief then……

I do manage to stay awake in the end till 5:50, near enough,plopping my cold feet into my warm fuzzy red slippers, I unlock the door and creep out silently into the still inky blue -black dawn, I shiver involuntarily, it’s still cold at this time, I grab the bin and begin to try and walk it as quietly as I can…it’s impossible, in the early stillness it sounds almost like it’s echoing, booming out for All to hear and not only in my street …I shush it without thinking😁, but it’s too late, I see a curtain twitch sending a chinkof light out into the dreary darkness, I try ducking down behind the bin as I wheel it…but as I do this I can almost hear in my mind, my neighbours wife,s voice saying ..”oh it’s ok Chris it’s just our crazy neighbour taking her bin for a walk”….😁

Mission accomplished, I come in and lay down on my bed, the blankets still warm from where I had just moments before left them…I snuggle down in their comforting softness hoping to at least get a wee nap in before it’s too late….there’s not a chance though, I’m wide awake..

Later on at some point I know without a doubt I have to go on another walk, this is after all an on going project, if I’m to have any kind of mobility left in the years to come, I have to exercise…I knew I was putting off the inevitable, no sleep, too tired to eat, I couldn’t bring myself even to put on my shoes let alone leave the actual flat….I hurt after yesterday’s excursion, I did everything to delay, clean the kitchen, phone my daughter, not that I don’t do that anyway,… But after an hour chatting to Becky, I decided enough was indeed enough…I reluctantly pull on my trainers, snatch grouchily up my hoody and leave before I could change my mind yet again…

The further I walked from home, the harder it became, I felt the pull of home more strongly today, I needed the warmth of my room, to surround myself with my fleece blankets, ..instead I walk on..I realise I must cut a sad figure, walking out alone, phone in one hand, cane in the other…At some point that morning I had decided if I did indeed set out at all, I would try to do the twenty minute walk to the shops…I kept this information to myself, just in case it became too much and I changed my way half way…but I didn’t, the residual aching from yesterday, even the abcess I had developed upon my leg didn’t stop this need to see this to the finish line…today in all I put myself to the test and I won!…..twenty minutes walk there, twenty back, an exercise bike ride …my knees swollen more than usual, I hurt everywhere you can hurt…but the elation of completing everything I had set out to, crossing that finishing line makes it all worthwhile….let’s see what tomorrow brings though, take care out there folks 😁💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Day 2.

Yesterday as you may or may not be aware, was the first time I ventured forth from my Cave(flat) after the long winters hibernation, previously before this the furthest I had managed was either the small front garden or out to the laundry area, .I must confess here, it had infact become all too easy to watch winter play out its dramas from the relative warmth and safety of my living room window, it affords me the pleasure of taking part without actually, well you know taking part really 😁.

Problem with this being, when you live in an area no bigger than the average Caravan, your fitness levels drop dramatically over time, .this I hadn’t in fairness noted, until I did!😁, by then of course it’s all too late, the damage is done, .I found this out to my cost on going out for my first walk in weeks, Stupidly I had taken for granted that I would be able in fact just pick up where I had left off over the mild Autumn,.This was In fact not to be the case, I hadn’t gone far at all before not only did my legs and back begin to protest most profoundly, but what was more of a growing concern was the fact my chest had grown increasingly not only tight but wheezy….

Call me stupid or whatever but I really quite like breathing, it’s become an old friend😁, I have though in my past life had to use inhalers for short spells, this is not a path I’m looking to revisit, On today’s walk, I stubbornly not only walked that much further, I in fact pushed myself to walk up quite an incline, even on a good day this had been quite the Nemesis for me, today it was to prove itself no lesser the foe…I tried hard to concentrate on my breathing, keeping it that steady flow going, but the further along I walked the tighter my chest grew and more ragid the breaths came…giving myself credit, I achieved what I set out to do, but it came with a price..it has challenged my nerve.

I have suffered with Agoraphobia,Ptsd for over thirty years now, at its height I didn’t leave my home once in ten years, at its best I flew on my first ever flight to meet my love in America, extremes I know, but that’s me all over, ..for the last five years I have had what I suppose you could call a wee break from the effects of Agoraphobia, a holiday if you will., Being able to do pretty much what I needed and wanted to do, . Today as I pushed myself further on, wanting to prove to myself I had no limitations, I found out the opposite to be true,….I reached the goal I set myself earlier, only for a flashback to come on suddenly without a warning..stood there in the cold alone, nowhere to sit down, quite some ways from home,only just made matters worse…Sound became harsh and louder, traffic seemed to move faster, everything in fact seemed to speed up, the very ground beneath my feet felt spongy, no longer solid, I for the first time in years felt afraid …

But I had one thing I was to be extremely proud of,this was not only did I push those boundaries to the nth degree, Even when I did reach my Goal, the one I had set for myself, then only to feel those first bursts of panic hit and in fact reacted shockingly just as I had in my past life, (which had been to turn around and flee back to the relative safety of home, this time with what was left of my fast diminishing courage, I not only shakily stood my ground, but each time that over powering need to walk away hit, I turned right back and walked back to where my fear measured its worst…I did this not once but three times infact…

As I finally allowed myself to walk home an overpowering exhaustion engulfed my body, whether from a physical thing, mental, lack of food or a combination of all of the above there was no choice but to walk home..I used distraction as a tool to do this, searching under the hedgerows either side of the walkway for early flowering spring plants, trying to catch a glimpse of the birds as they flashed between branches, stopping to take pictures of a gloriously covered pink blossoming cherry tree, it took all those tools in my tool belt ones I hadn’t infact had to use in years, thinking I had long since forgotten, now here I was using them to coast me home, like some old wreck of a car fast running out of gas..but I knew there was little choice, And with this firmly in mind I made it.

Those of you who have suffered something similar will know that over powering relief you feel when you finally sight home, that release of all that tension, final calming of adrenaline, your tense muscles sag, you’ve made it, your safe…As I look up at the roof, there in the gutter heads bobbing as look down upon me inquisitive as ever, all in a line are sat old friends, Walter, Dave, Red, Freckle, Darcy, and the rest of my growing pigeon family, I can’t help but smile up at them..they can’t begin to know how pleased and relieved I am to be seeing them again…I plonk myself down upon the porch step ungainly, the body that had just moments before been covered in sweat, rapidly chilled as the cold breeze whipped about me, I longed for nothing more than a hug from the man I loved and a mammoth hot coffee, in fact what I got was half an hour sat shivering too exhausted to do anything about it, but as I sat there watching the pale orb of winter sun do it’s best to warm the ever darkening winter sky… My pigeons came down to the grass in front of me, to some they may be a nuisance, to me well their alive and company.. I can’t tell them about my adventures but they are there and that is very important to me,…. thank you for reading and talking part on what is in fact only the very tip of the iceberg, the beginning of one long and scary road, stay well and keep warm. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

For days now the guilt of not getting out doors even momentarily has weighed heavily upon my mind, it’s all so very easy this time of year to lapse into that deep winter hibernation, days, weeks sometimes even months pass by without I poke my head outside into the chill of winter air, easier still for those of us who have in a previous life suffered with Agoraphobia, Days came and went and I’m afraid I was way too content to just let em,😁, Somewhat satisfied with going out once or twice daily just long enough to feed the birds(Mainly my merry band of regular pigeons,.

Every morning on waking, I tried hard to convince myself this was going to be that day, the I would bravely leave my Cave and make a bid for freedom,. I would gamble merrily about the local fields, well ok hobble😁, but excuses came easily and I’m afraid the weather aided and abetted me in my laziness,. There’s not much fun walking about outside in pursuit of fresh air and exercise, only to return looking like a drowned rat with double pneumonia(what even is the double bit?)😁. …but today I’m afraid those excuses had left the building, which is more than I could say. Today I woke up to glorious sunshine streaming through the gaps in my bedroom curtains, I cursed it’s cheerfulness, how very dare it be so bloody bright, where was that back to back rain Alexa had just hours previous promised,Well what did she know anyhow, she let me down again and I wasn’t happy about it one bit…

After a quick flirt with the shower and getting clean, a passing thought flickered into my sleepy mind(yes I do have thoughts you know, not always intelligent or even the most logical I admit, but thought never less), as I was saying I toyed momentary about hanging the wash out on the line to dry, (and maybe just maybe this could count as my daily fresh air and exercise right?😁, Coffee!!! no matter the question, coffee I’m convinced really is the only answer.. It’s cold here in the flat especially first thing, so dressing quickly is a must…pulling anything I happened on from my chest of drawers in my haste to cover as much of me as possible, (luckily like magician pulling a surprise from the hat, it was in fact a t shirt and trousers first time…shaking I dressed quickly, even my shirt on the right way round …don’t ask 😲😁.

Jesse was still slumbering away quietly, as I sipped the hot coffee while reading the rubbish headlines in today’s newspaper, I really don’t actually read it if I’m being honest, I flick through for anything that catches the eye…unfortunately it’s all much of a muchness these days…After a quick tidy up, making my bed, I realised I had put off the moment as long as I dare, (I knew subconsciously or even consciously I would do just about anything to delay the inevitable, . Before I and the weather could change our minds, I slipped on my shoes, faithful black hoodie ,grabbing my keys I left the growing warmth and safety of the flat.

I had not gone more than a few steps before realising it was indeed the most gorgeous day…the sunlight stung my eyes after weeks of artificial dull light, A crystal blue sky mocked my reluctance to go out, only a few strands of fluffy white cloud stretched its expanse, racing across at speed from the residual remaining high winds of Monday …I came first upon the still blooming early blossoming plum trees, tiny white bracks of flowers despite their diminutive size, shared their sweet perfume, I buried my nose among the covered branches, breathing in deeply. Tiny finches hopped and twittered from twig to twig…flashes of bright yellow briefly caught my eye as great Tits chattered excitedly amongst each other, A lone Robin sang sweetly high up in a budding sycamore tree, my old pal white feather(my friendly Blackbird) flew jauntily from fence to fence in front of me, looking back every once in a while, the sun catching his curious bright beady black eye as he watched my progress, tail bobbing …

I wasn’t so sure how far I would chance walking today, my muscles had long since atrophied from the lack of exercise over the weeks, but I always surprise myself as I get caught up nature, I know you wouldn’t suspect much to be happening this early on in spring, but there your in for a shock, .upon some budding twigs I found row upon row of striped cream and brown crinkled edged fungus growing the length of its host… in the grass braving the spring chill wind grew tiny deep purple headed violets, their dark round leaves covered in miniscule hairs,. Growing lustily amongst hedges, the almost fluorescent star like yellow flowers of the winter Jasmine, they seem to almost steal all the attention for themselves in the sheltered home among the still bare branched shrubbery,

Odd escaped daffodils nod their heads in the breeze as you pass, snow drops shiver, Sky blue rounded petals of the ground covering Periwinkle, Even at the base of trees there’s large gatherings of showy purple flowering nettles, other plants slowly awakening , not yet really convinced the freezing winters done with us and spring is indeed on its way…

I walked on a while enjoying the sunshine while it lasts, for more winter weather has been predicted by the weekend, seems almost impossible, as I watch the first big Bees still sleepy from their own hibernation somewhat clumsily fly by, the songs of birds heralding nesting season, still winter could surprise us all with a last hurrah….why not wrap up warm yourselves folks and go find mother natures beauty…take care all, stay warm and well 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛x