Yesterday was one of those awful Gawd blimy days, (you know the ones? I don’t have to bore you with detailed explanations) but to the uninitiated of you on the planet…that’s an awkward kind of day, nothing goes to plan, if there ever was a plan to begin with, add to this my pain levels joining in, thanks mainly to the high humidity(thanks planet!) I just did not under any circumstances want to move, Even after several large thermos mugs of extra strong coffee, I felt let down massively, as pleasurable as they were at the time.,. Switching on the news just proved to depress me further still, Riots across the nation, wars, crashes on the stock market,surely this must be the excuse I need to hide in bed for the day, maybe forever!!!!?…,, In the end I opt for playing mindless games on my tablet, while i wait patiently for that sudden caffeine inebriated zing moment to take effect,….there was to be absolutely no zing, nothing, not a blooming thing!!!!, There wasn’t even a half hearted attempt at a zing….I look down at the remaining dregs in my last cup for the day with some disappointment and disgust,(traitor!) all at once I feel let down…what now?, My eyes travel about the dull lit room, before settling on my phone…ok this calls for some serious assistance, I need to achieve the bare minimum today, Maybe even some half heartedly flicking of the tickling stick…(no nothing rude to see here folks it’s just a feather duster honest!), I could try pretending to wash up the odd cup maybe?, hang out the laundry on the line?hmmm…none of this is doing a thing to bring me out this suffocating malaise.. The opposite if anything, who gets excited about laundry anyhow?.. Oh yeah that will be just me then!!!..
I want to lay about unwashed,unfed, and underwhelmed, waiting for jolly little chirpy Sparrows!, Robins!, pigeons and bunnies to come bounding through the open window and set about cleaning house, Singing tuneful little ditties as they go….course this only happens in Disney, Knowing my luck they would only trash the flat have wild Raves, doubling up my electric bill, annoy the neighbours with Rap music, eat my food then fertilize the rugs… this vision doesn’t appeal at all either .. Frustrated finally i cram my ear buds into my ears turning the volume up, highhhh!…..
Whether it was the coffee having a slower than normal trickle effect or the music, I will never know, but I decide to set about the kitchen … Opening up the Windows before hand, in some small hope of catching a passing breeze…😁😁 it passes alright ….me right by utterly, completely😁,. Spotify on random select, volume up full blast im good to go! now where to start?, I put on the laundry, clean the what’s laughingly called the work surface, all three feet of it…random songs come up as I work!!! One minute Benson Boone, followed immediately by Diana Ross yeah there’s no rhyme or reason to my very eclectic play list…I’m getting into my groove here doing a wee twerp or is that twerk🤔? I never know😁, but all at once I’m compelled completely to belt out the next song, there’s no fighting it!!, no going back!!!!, I’m having the time of my absolute life, twerkifying all over the place, spatula in hand, as a make shift mike…and what you may ask am I doing a glorious rendition of…..Face down xss up(thats the way we like to xxxx…by Deja vous) don’t shoot me here, it’s on my physio exercise play list….no honest it really is….anyway I’m giving it my all….when we get to the chorus, I in turn get spectacular….I’m zoning honey!!!!, Then too my absolute horror a flash of postmans uniform goes by my kitchen window…which if you remember is flung wide… I turn my head fast just in time to see a grinning face, to my horror as I remove one embedded earbud, I hear his raucous laugh…oh Lord why does this always happen to me?….what do I do to deserve this? Ok no answers necessary here folks!…..but even before I can regain any form of dignity there’s a ring on my doorbell…. Yes you’ve guessed it…there stands my regular postie…two letters in one hand, his other wiping stray tears from his still grinning face…mine on the other hand is beetroot red..I thank him already knowing he could have very well of put them in the letter box….but no he wanted to see me squirm…!! I cannot shut the door fast enough…..
If this wasn’t enough, on Saturday afternoon my love not having slept particularly well the night before, decides a nap is in order…while he’s resting I decide to tackle a few put off tasks in the garden at the back of the flat…it was fast becoming a wildlife paradise, pretty enough agreed, but neither not practical or something my landlord would take to willingly, pruning sheers to the ready, I go about cutting back any unwieldy shrubbery, I’ve no plans to fashion some wondrous topiary shapes or animal form….I’m just hacking it back with gusto…branches and limbs flying through the air….my arms scratched and bleeding, but I don’t care, I stand back admiring my handy work..it looks !!!Erm ok, better at least…after just half an hour though I’m soaked through to the skin and need a drink, so decide enough is enough for today,
I rinse my sticky face and neck with delicious cool water, taking particular care to wash the cuts upon my arms, before grabbing a bottle of cold water from the fridge, I walk back into the room just in time to find Jesse waking up…he stretches before looking my way…I’m still a little self conscious of the fact I’m hot and sticky….he smiles and asks, “What have you been up to”?, Between greedy gulps of water not missing a beat I answer….”Just been out in the back garden hun cutting back my bush”, “I’m afraid it had become way to over grown and unwieldy, took some doing too, I’m sweltering”, wiping my brow for effect….Jesse half asleep at first says ohhh good!, Then after this had penetrated his sleep befuddled mind…he looks puzzled, wait you were doing what!???????, I answer matter quite of factly….”Just cutting back my bush, our the back love”!!!!, It looks better now, tidy at least, I didn’t shape it though”. He and Paul my upstairs neighbour stood outside my window(open of course) unlocking he’s door.. choke in tandom…. What I say? and a by now laughing Jesse, says oh nothing darling…”I’m glad you have that sorted now though, a load of your mind”….took me a while but I cottoned on….I really shouldn’t be allowed near any polite society I’m lethal….Anyhow folks that’s enough of my chatter before I say something I regret, take care of yourselves out there, stay safe….💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 