Dear Wartime Diary …

Around this time last year, life looked so very different, I had been working hard upon a budget system to put away small amounts monthly, plus living a fairly frugal lifestyle…Then that of course was indeed last year!😁.. With the advent of Christmas 2023 came endless plinky plonky Christmas tunes in shops, the glittery promise of perfect gift buying,. My spending quite literally becoming well and truly out of control,.You always promise yourself, don’t you that at any time you could rein it in, stop it even!… But as I stood in the middle of yet another beautifully decorated store, I knew then it was already hopeless, I looked on as my budgeting slowly but surely drifted off course, and I have to confess some months on, I am still to this day struggling to get to grips with this. Having seen the benefits for myself of my far healthier bank balance, I am, how should we say this politely, more than a little peeved. Actually darn right furious if not disappointed in myself…I let me down

I fell head long once again into the hungry mouth of the retail trap…the same one designed not only to make a fool and her money easily parted..but irreconcilably so, even divorced!!!, I would love to say I didn’t see it coming…but of course I did!!!This only makes matters worse, I was far too angry with myself to talk about it until now..talk about gullible..At its height there wouldnt be a single day, sometimes hour even, when I wasn’t scouring “The Zon”(Amazon) looking at page after page, until product blind I moved on, (it’s something akin to snow blindness only with, well products basically😊….I searched for that latest must have item,(you know the one people, that secret weakness you oooooo and ahhhhhh over, the next shiny thing I couldn’t live a second longer without, another totally useless item that would plug the gaping holes in my life, cement over the chasm sized cracks, make me complete… Much like the relentless dieter who kids themselves, losing weight will make life that bit more perfect!… There I was searching for a lost cause…there’s nothing I can buy retail wise that will breach the growing divide, or complete me…I know this already …I’ve always known it…but all the while I shop my minds distracted momentarily from the empty void deep within, the constant nagging doubt, my fears…loneliness, a balm for what really ails me….

And the retail business knows this…it’s like this massive gaping hungry mouth we are programmed to feed…the more we feed it the hungrier it becomes…we are in effect brain washed daily into buying ever more must have products,. then once that shoppers after glo passes, the euphoria has been and gone, that my friends is when the real fun starts…because of course not only do you buy “the wonderful product “, but then you need the products to go with “the original product✨”😁…it becomes relentless…take a mobile phone for example…You know that one you paid a fortune for, with its latest upgrades, brand spanking new technology….Well then of course your going to need a charger or three…( Have you noticed how easy those things break,?), oh and then there’s the blue tooth ear buds, pluggy in ear buds, phone stands, phone cases, protective screens, let’s not forget the obligatory power bank….I know all too well because, idiot that I am I’m sat looking at all these things right now and so much more!!!!!!!.

What’s more you cannot avoid the ever growing hungry retail machine…Face book, Tiktok, Prime, Netflix, magazines, Cinema’s, billboards and so on, yadda yadda yadda, don’t get me started on influencers, people that look just like us, subtly sending earworm messages all the while selling you product after product,(you trust them because they look like Joe down the road, it’s so clever ughhhh… everywhere you go its in your face, there’s no escape folks, you no sooner buy something than it’s there convincing you, that there’s more to be had, so very much more you need!!!! …

Monday afternoon a set of six small attractive tin containers arrived, yes they are very pretty, but to what end?…their too small to be of any real practical use, standing at just under two inches in all their prettiness,.. After I had unwrapped them from the mountain of cardboard, That heart wrenching anti climax set in within seconds…duped again!!!, another thing to look at for a few days, then to be shoved in a dark drawer never to see the light of day, months later given away…after some reflection they did have one use…One I’m hoping if not permanent at least semi…or long enough for my finances to recover somewhat..They served to show me that curbing my spending is imperative …So to this effect I’ve gone cold Turkey, yes again!!!.. If you’ve ever done this you will have some idea just how hard this is… No less than five times today…yes five!, I’ve found myself unconsciously going to visit “The Zon”… I had to use all the same tools, Ive used for anxiety attacks..(distraction being the main one), I’m not sure this will be sufficient in the long term, but for the present it’s working …I’m only on day 6….just day 6, trying hard not to crash and burn. If you don’t believe this is a very real addiction, try going a week without buying anything….apart from food shopping, and I’m talking about walking away from that on offer scented candle, book by your favourite author, fluffy socks, or Gift for great aunt Delilah…she can live without it I promise …

Alongside “The Zon” detox, I’m back on a tight food budget, This week I’ve really cut it back, to half the normal limit, it’s a deliberate move in hope of proving to myself I can infact cope on little and still eat healthily …The biggest problem I have is the danger of boredom building up…as you may or may not know, I’m virtually housebound,and have been for some months, due to a knee injury. Up until fairly recently I’ve used my love of reading to see me through the worst, hoping to beat last year’s record of reading a whopping 100 books, …But that’s taken a knockback..not now being able to search Amazon for my next book…(kindle books being cheap and all too readily available),. I am also a member of an online library, which helps but the selections are somewhat limited. ….So my budget firmly fixed in place, I’ve found myself a pet project to focus my attentions on, …wait for it!!!! World war 2 recipes…not only recipes though, I’m reading about what life entailed, surviving the blitz, what real people just like my grandmother, mother, aunts and uncles went through..and of course the dreaded Rationing..

While reading and researching this emotive subject, I’m going to try living on rations myself where possible, recreating as many of the recipes as I can find online, all the while sticking to my budget of course, Without the buying any books 😁😁😁… this is the doozy right there, I have found a few recipes to begin with, setting me on my path..One I have already taken to my heart, loving sweet treats ..It’s a recipe for Carrot cookies…keeping in mind both sugar and butter are strictly limited…but even with this they are utterly delicious…Here’s the recipe. 6 tbl spoons of all purpose flour, 4 tbl spoons of grated carrot, 1 tbl of soft butter or margarine, 1 tbl of sugar or honey, 1 tbl spoon of baking powder, vanilla extract if you have it ….mix the sugar and butter together until they form a pale lemon colour, add the flour now, the carrot, baking powder …if you have any dates, dried fruit in store, add a couple of spoonfuls here, I have also used dried ginger as I didn’t possess vanilla extract in my store cupboard and didn’t want to cheat😁😁😁😁, but the ginger gave them a real warmth and zing….bake for twenty minutes or until golden…these cookies are simply morish and nope you don’t taste that added carrot…it tastes if anything like coconut😊, so weird but true!…

I of course will never get a true understanding of the hardships faced, the endless bombing, living in fear constantly, that’s not what this is about for me, I love reading and learning about our history, and maybe living this one tiny part, will if anything get me through my own rationing😁..working towards reprogramming my spending, also learn to make do and mend…I cannot unfortunately do the whole dig for victory thing, (a huge Government incentive of the time to get people growing fruit and vegetables in their own gardens…I don’t have one, well not to speak of anyhow…But in my small front garden, growing right now I do have a thriving celery plant, three tomatoes, and several herbs…I’ve also been hanging out my laundry for months now…hand washing clothes where the weather co operates😊, even bought out of moth balls my old carpet sweeper…all I need is some hair curlers, a head scarf , cross over apron like my grandmother’s and 1940s here I come….ewwww where’s me red lippy and beetroot juice for blusher rofl, I will also weigh myself at both the beginning and end of the experience to check for weight loss or indeed if the cookies are anything to go by gain🙄….Anyhow it all starts here folks, one day at a time…If any of you have any 1940s recipes I can make use of drop me a line of three, I would be most grateful…wish me luck folks…until next time look after yourselves….💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪,