Det, Okey Det, Okey….

Monday ..

And it started out so wonderfully well, (insert For your own sarcasm here). I woke roughly around 3am, nothing new with that, I never sleep through the night these days anyhow,. But I decided this was a perfect opportunity for a quick bathroom break before settling back down for sleep part:2:., .As i turned over onto my left side to do just that, readying myself to get up, I felt this sudden awful pain shoot through my ribcage, then into the surrounding areas, it was far too painful for any sort of description , the only way I could begin, was it felt like someone had broken in and beat the heck out of me with a large piece of 2 by 4 while I slept, I couldn’t even move, part of me longed to call out in pain, but living alone one knows such things are infact futile, how does that famous line in the film go(there’s no one here to hear you scream) well that’s how it felt, . I reached across feeling for my other phone., i held onto the black leather case, holding it tightly brings with it some modicum of comfort, maybe security who knows., I’m still not a hundred per cent sure yet whether I would call for medical back up, or do my famous ohhhhh lets wait to see if it goes away by itself kinder thing😁(that is normal Treez Mo), I lay there for some time feeling really sorry for myself, (the pain graduated from somewhere around a 7 to a bloody hell this is no longer even remotely funny now!.

What didn’t help any was the fact by now I really needed to visit the powder room with some real urgency,😳, again I tried rolling onto my side and as I did the pain shot throughout my ribcage , so now I have two choices, either brave the pain or have an accident right there…(that wasn’t ever going to be any real option, I needed to get up one way or another..I was immediately hit by the relentless silence that surrounded me, threatening to overcome me, nothing like that cold harsh nothingness to bring home reality to you, you are in fact alone, very alone, and right then I needed very little reminding…

After laying still bought little to no relief, I rocked myself in a back and forth motion, until I finally managed somehow to reach the edge of the bed, from there i slid my feet to the floor, my hands going out to the wall for support, gingerly I walking across to the bathroom holding onto my side the whole time as Im walking. I got there finally, and what’s more the longer I stood I realised the pain was finally easing up somewhat, also up until this point I had be holding my breath, breathing although optimal, also hurt😁, but with the pain easing I took in a real deep breath. I had already decided to use my kinetic tape to bind that area by the time I returned to the comfort of my bed,

Taping also comes with its own unique risks now, (to tape or not to tape),Just a few years back taping up my joints had in fact been a real God send, easing the pain and keeping those all too stray joints from Subluxing further(a partial dislocation). It’s an EDS thang. Now though I tape up as sparingly as possible, with my ever increasing allergies by body has another joker in its pack..tape doesn’t only give me welts, I have a real risk.of chemical burns…my skin blistering into huge yellow bubbles of fluid, this is one thing, the other in the past is it has in fact removed the top layer of skin, So why do it?, Because the only other method of pain relief is in fact NSAIDs,. These still only bring partial relief, which grab at only too willingly, but for three years now my doctors have denied me the only pain relief I can take without some kind reaction…

On the whole I’m exceptionally good with pain, taking it as part of my daily life, rarely getting to the point where it’s unbearable, but when it is I’m stuck …or taped 😁, having taped across the offending area with bright orange tape with a snorting bull across it, I now feel at least a little more comfortable, the rib had slipped down and this is not the first time, with some learnt movements I can relocate it back, but it does leave the area tender for days…the joys of dislocation folks…

After resting up for a couple of hours, I managed to carefully go about my day, I’m still hand washing clothes, and bashing my rugs in the garden only with not quite the panache and rigour of norm…I must confess it’s days like these that make me long for my easier lifestyle, my gadgets, I miss my hoover and washing machine greatly, oh to just shove ones dirty laundry in the washer, a cap of detergent, turn the knob and it’s like Harry potter and the sorcerers dodah clean washing.., But no my battle with my energy suppliers are forever ongoing, I’ve tried everything I can think of to get help, but taking on huge companies is no easy task, especially when one struggles with authority, I fear they in fact sense this and are out for blood.

Since writing last month my bills are increasing to humongous proportion, . I’m still one person, living in a tiny one bed flat, no hot water, my only use one fridge freezer daily, one kettle, and I’m getting monthly bills raising over £400, this is a third of the money I have to exist on, a third of my income…they are not willing to listen or understand the ridiculousness of this…when a fridge and a kettle costs £400 monthly to run, what about the winter?, Will I be exposed to the freezing temperatures, maybe expected to stay in my bed to keep warm, boiling a kettle to wash myself with..already struggling with pain daily in my joints I fear how much the cold will affect my health and ability to care for myself..

My blood pressure is now also being affected, I have spent years coming off the six regular meds to control it previously, now it’s steadily climbing back up, I for one am not surprised about this, the on going battle is not only needless but relentless,. Later on this month they are actually sending in an engineer to check out their meter, this I worry about it in honest, because although in my heart I know there’s an issue, I’m dreading they will find nothing wrong…in the meantime just keep feeding that ever growing hungry mouth of the electricity company.. For now it’s all I can do…hope you’ve all survived the heat my friends , stay well and look after yourselves sweeties ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊