Waking up after a restless night is never easy for the best of us, for me it usually requires much more of my caffeine infused beverage of choice(I don’t need much encouragement),, Any more though and i will be able to be located someplace on the ceiling , eyes rolling in the back of my head, gurgling, The upside of course if there is one, least I can deal with any stray cobwebs while in situ.
On the menu
I’m not a very good sleeper at the best of times, some nights I do this weird thing I call a “starter sleep”, it goes something like this..one minute I’m wide awake, the next thing Im actually fully aware that it’s ten minutes later, Now I’ve either been pulled backwards into some strange time warp thing or I’ve fallen asleep 😴,. I’m fully conscious again, with a pool of drool attractively making its slow way down my chin, this is slightly disconcerting as I wasnt even aware I was tired to begin with, but what’s worse is I feel like I’ve been asleep for hours😲, it’s only ever just ten minutes, no more, like some strange pre sleep sleep, before the main event to follow, “the authentic sleep”, which maybe anything from 20 minutes to four hours…who knows?, I never do, I know I like a surprise but sleeping for a full night would be simply Marvellous…
Last night wasnt optimal though, before settling for the night, I decided to check for Emails, (I know on reflection this wasn’t wise, I really should have waited till later, much later, preferably morning sometime after coffee oclock, or not at all on further reflection(my usual method). But in fairness to me I was only trying to be proactive for once, keeping on top of incoming correspondence, 😁,. I scrolled down the line of mail, mainly from my friends at Amazon😁, with the usual endless list of things based on my normal searches, there’s a dozen items I simply cannot live without according to them,(normally made up of things I’ve already bought or things I would never consider in a million years, but I check it anyway, who knows I might at some point need that powder blue chain saw or a diamond encrusted angle grinder, well I may😊, . Then there’s the endless amounts of Spam mail…oh if only, I love Spam,(but of the tinned variety only please). As I half heartedly carry on about my business, I realise I scrolled passed one, I’ve no idea how, but I’ve a sneaky suspicion I did it somewhat unconsciously, it was from my energy suppliers…oh why didn’t I carry on scrolling..I just had to do it, …it was there in big bold letters, my latest statement..I should of stopped right there. Should but didnt
Curiosity gets me every blooming time, I open it up, read the usual lines of information, well I may read it but struggle to take it in….my brains screaming just get to the bloody bit I need to actually know!!!!, Four more paragraphs of dis information, I feel my eyes suddenly begin to boil and droop involuntary, (maybe I will get to sleep after all 😁) that is until I scroll to these enormous figures, I swear they are almost flashing in large bold dark black italics, screaming as they go…massive bill warning, massive bill here!!??, Theres no escaping it, I mean I try believe me, but it can’t be avoided, seems in one month alone, it’s tallied up figures of over £400.00, . Now I know all about inflation, cost of existing that kind of thing,(certainly not living that’s for sure), but £400.00, I mean seriously in one month…
I live this lifestyle, I jokingly call frugal, which really is no joke, no washing machine, no dryer, no tv, dish washer, heating, no hot water, I vacuum once a week or use my carpet sweeper, the only things I do use, which are both vital, are my kettle(coffee being a must to get me through this malarkey😁) and my fridge freezer (it holds milk for said coffee), it’s tiny and on low…I cook my food using my air fryer, once daily…the rest of the time I’m sat using nothing eletrical, this done deliberately, trying hard to curtail costs,(thank goodness for reading is all I can say 😁) How is everyone surviving this is, I would like to know?
After this I already know sleep will, at best be impossible, I’m way too hyped, (also sure it’s no longer the coffee either 😁), there’s nothing I can physically do until morning anyhow so I try to push it aside,compartment it away someplace dark and dank until I at least have more information, but I’ve never been able to do this, I’m an act now, live in the moment type personage, Jesse says I’m like a dog with a bone,. And he,s correct once I’ve the bit between my teeth there’s no shifting me, my mind just doesn’t relax…I can feel my mind working away at it, gnawing, spiralling almost into full blown panic attack,
Finally after two hours of working myself into a lather, I settle on a plan of action, numerous Emails back and forth over months to my supplier are getting us no where fast, Only as Jesse is fond of saying an unwanted penpal…I’ve a much nicer one, I’ve neglected over the months due mainly to letter blindness from endless correspondence, ….So let’s just take it to the top now, I’m going to the Fuel Ombudsmen or is that ombudsperson in the day and age, yup there’s my answer…I cannot live this 1950s dark age madness only to feed the endless gaping mouth of an electricity company, ..with the newly plan of action fresh in my mind, I finally fall into a troubled restless sleep, it’s only for two hours, but it’s sleep never the less, .
On waking I feel that utter exhaustion,the one where your body feels, not only has it managed to somehow survive ten rounds plus a knockout with Mike Tyson, but it’s truly and utterly depleted,. Where as my mind on the other hand is completely wired, wide awake already without the aid of coffee, (running amok like some sugar fueled hyped two year old) I know I have to make that phone call, and I detest phones, I already don’t want to do today,(make it stop someone!) Sometime during the short sleepless night ive managed as only I can, to slip my left shoulder out of its socket,it’s laying at an odd angle,(I’m lop sided) Initial pain jolts me from sleep and although Ive unconsciously manipulated it back into place, it’s uncomfortable, tender, and I’ve a pile of washing to get done by hand, (groaning sound effects maybe applied here folks 😁),
Thank goodness for either insight or restlessness of the night prior, I had already put it in soak, this is half the battle right there, there’s still the agitating to do(the laundry not myself😁) that’s where being ambidextrous or as I’m fond of calling myself bi annual, I’m gonna get in trouble one day 😁comes into its own, not just for party tricks…wringing out water one handed is novel but with manipulation achieved…
As was the dreaded, much put off phone call, I spoke to two lovely people, they put up with my very rattled erratic diatribe with more patience and aplomb than I would have had in their place, my grievance is lodged, I moaned like a moany thing, Andrew on the other end was very good natured about it all, even when Sage the budgie is on fine form screaming “Peeka boo!!!” Or “you alright” at intervals throughout our conversation, I’m unsure of the outcome yet, as this is just the beginning, the tip of the very icy iceburg, (I’m dreading winter without heating already 😁). But as bad as I am with dealing with authority figures, I will not be adverse to taking this further, to the top if needs be, ok let’s get the kettle on for a well earned cuppa now folks😁, take care of yourselves all, and stay safe x ❤❤❤💛💛💛❤❤❤
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 