The return of an old friend….

It was on one of our many conversations of late(that’s of course myself and Jesse’s) I realised with a start that I had no clue who or what I am,(yes I know the important basics like I’m human, love Jesse and my children) But there I am heading rapidly toward yet another landmark birthday., And for instance at one point I didn’t even have a clue about my likes and dislikes,. Horses, dogs, music, reading, classic films etc were another massive factor throughout life, but what then? …. Take reading for example:, All my adult life I have read the same authors, there being a sort of safety net in that one particular Genre, like returning home after an upset seeking comfort in the familiar surroundings.

Most of the books Ive read were what’s laughingly I suppose called chic lit, (I hate using those words or admitting to it even) Every book without exception began the same, Girl met boy, girl hated boy in the beginning chapter’s, then it switched she fell passionately in love with him, he of course was a rich a playboy, helpless woman flocking round him ect ECT ECT! … My mother bless her heart loved these type of books, she also had two favourite authors whom she read virtually every book bought out by,. Therefore i read them also, doing so with a view that we could share them and discuss as we read rapidly through the pages ..it gave us something to talk about,shared interest!

But pretty sokn with each new book by either author I found myself recognising a set pattern,. before long I knew the plots by the first chapter,but I continued down this known route for many years though, with each new book I was left wanting, empty, This in fact actually went on until the death of my mother..losing her was not only a blow and massive shock, but with her went my passion for reading, one of the main reasons there for too I suppose,. I would intermittently try to pick up the odd book and funnily enough I still found myself to buying them , .each time I visited charity shops, supermarkets, I find myself looking down the endless rows, almost searching for something to jump out at me, provide me with that escape between the ink filled pages I had previously sought and found..now though the words somehow looked jumbled, they wouldn’t sit in their orderly lines, spoke in an almost foreign tongue, and i was left feeling instead of lost in comfort, just abandoned, ..So as years flew by, I tried my hand at many hobbies desperate to fill the void left by previous characters and their adventures..But they didnt excite or capture my imagination.

Try as I may, books had indeed lost their magic and I had to face up to the fact, I did not have the first clue how to recapture it… that was until one Christmas some time later, there under the small but well appointed, glitzed up glam tree sat numerous boxes and intriguing wrapped gifts, I love Christmas with all the excitement and almost a child like passion…it’s a big deal in my house, my Son Andrew that year handed me a square heavy object, I knew instantly by its shape and recognisable weight what it was, my heart sank, not because I’m ungrateful for the thought entailed, but it was a gift, therefore special, especially from a loved one…

As I removed the last vestige of shiny jolly faced Santa wrap, the cover created a surprising feeling, one unfamiliar, I felt a spark of interest, I loved also that new book smell, it’s weight, the feel of it in my hands…that book was by C J Sansom, it was in fact a Genre I had never attempted before,. I knew though without doubt I would read it, even if was for the fact it was a thoughtful Gift bought with me in mind, A few days later I set out on my new voyage of discovery,. The first pages admittedly seemed almost a chore, but as I turned each and every new page, something happened without my note, I in fact had become immersed, I found myself waking up early, (4am to be precise) making a steaming mug of tea(yes bc, before coffee I was a tea drinker 😲, I know shocking!, there sat under my bunch of soft fleece blankets curled up on the sofa I read, not just read though, Now i devoured each page, each well written line and sentence,. Time seemed a traitor, the clocks hand spun round at an alarming rate, the sun crept up into what was surely just minutes ago, that dark star filled sky..I hated letting go of the books hold over me, 1: because i was scared the magic spell it wove around its words, it’s hold over my imagination would be instantaneously lost forever once more, 2: I know it sounds weird, but I thought by the simple act of closing those dust covers together, the books characters would carry on their lives without me, I felt excluded…so it was with regret each day I put in my book mark, signed and carried out my days tasks…

Coming to the end of that book was almost as traumatic as it’s beginning, at the same time as needing to find out the conclusion, I wanted it to go on forever, it was a bitter sweet moment as I turned the last chapters pages, I wasn’t just finishing a book, but it felt like the end of a relationship, which of course in an way it was. After I tried with little success to read what were much loved old favourites, what had once been familiar, safe, loved, treasured, now in fact lost all appeal, And with them I lost my way, my love of the written word..

It didn’t take long though before I discovered more of Sansoms, books, And with each new title, also a renewed hunger returned, I couldn’t work out why at first, but looking back of course I know now..his writing was new and fresh, Gone was that same old Genre of love betwixt the lines, in its stead, a refreshing mix of history fact mixed with fiction, I love learning anything history wise, Andrew had cleverly known this when choosing that very first title…very

Over the years since those early days and first books, reading has come and gone like friends have,. Sometimes almost coming to a standstill (never forgotten now though) .. the last five years in fact I have barely picked up a book, life since I met Jesse, fell in love, all the fun of the immigration battles, moving house, health issues have been adventurous enough thankyou!, Even with those long lonely hours to fill, I just couldn’t concentrate, my mind seemingly too full to concentrate… that was until the beginning of this year,. while without any real concentration I flicked through books in my ever growing library on my tablet..despite not reading still, that need to buy books hasn’t grown any less😁…one title stood out from all the others …spoke to me if you will…That book is called The reading List by Nisha Adams, again it’s a different style of story than my usual, (although what am I saying now I know longer have that “usual”. ..It starts quite sadly with a bereavement, A wonderful spritely 70 year old gentleman loses the love of his life, (his wife) it’s also about a voyage into the love of books, unlike my own, this is in fact new to him, along his path though he meets wonderful new people, he befriends a 17 year old troubled teen whose caring for her mother, a man recently broken up from his girlfriend. and with this a discover of a book his wife had loved, then theres a list of books she had distributed about before her death, with the words in case you might need it..each of them wants to complete the list, …as you read the book you find yourself compelled along the way too.

So here I am on my own new path, not only reading the titles on the list, but along the way discovering different and exciting authors, One had been so enthralling I hungrily trawled it’s pages all that day, only stopping for bathroom breaks, that even was in truth hit and miss😁, the book a page turner was in fact, The kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini..never had I read a more beautiful but tragic indepth book…when an author can change your whole way of thinking about a subject while leaving you wanting more, you know it’s been a worthwhile read….

Since January I’ve read 12 or more books, each one leaving me with a parting gift..a hunger for that next title, then more over the next, I want to make this truly a journey of discovery, one finding new and exciting authors, thus finding out more about myself, my likes, passions, and with them myself…I’m not sure how long in fact this hold over me books will have …but while I undertake this last few chapters of life I intend fully to make it the best chapters yet…..the end

ps…To keep you up to date on mine and my new bread machines adventures, yesterday I made another perfect example of a loaf of bread…it was a sight to behold and not a fluke like the first success, this one was in fact though an experiment in nerves, I was daring folks, adding a mixture of dried chopped herbs, parmesan cheese and garlic pepper…the first slice I ate warm and just as I cut it, naked(that’s the bread) I do spare the neighbours where I can, take care of yourselves folks stay safe out there…..

Pps..if you have come across any books you have read that have created a real impact, why not share them with me let’s share a new journey for a while😁😁😁😁😁😁😁xxxx🍞