The stolen day….a page from my diary of 1992

She had been walking alone and had had no idea of the spectical she made, there in the road, still dark and damp from morning dew, kicking with quite obvious delight, the delicious abundance of crisp colourful autumnal leaves, .Her brown eyes crinkling at the corners, a wide smile upon her crushed plum lipstick covered lips. .. All she knew quite frankly was she really didn’t care for anyone’s opinion, she cared little and worried far far less……

It was one of those perfect autumn days you read about but rarely see,. the morning air was fresh with just a few faint hints of wood smoke, a cloudless pale blue sky already holding the promise of a little warmth to follow, a subtle reminder of the glorious ending of summer days, As she carried on walking back to her Essex home, an itchy restless sensation filled her veins,.while still trying to Go through the motions, she picked up that mornings newspaper from the usual newsagents on her way home, Her three children Now safely deposited in school, she always felt at a loss without their endless chatter, She took to greeting passers by, yet all the while as she drew nearer home, a dark cloud settled low and oppresively about her, threatening to suffocate, steal her very next breath …

To her it had felt from the beginning a day for leaving behind pavements, roads, the noise of her fellow man, a day for walking away that unbearable itch in her feet, the closer home became, the further she had craved to be, …walking down the narrow uneven front path, all at once a plan formed in her mind.., Stealthily creeping, almost holding her breathe, .shaking somewhat nervously as she pushed the key into the latch lock of the front door,. Entering the very grim dark wood covered hall, just enough though to enable her to reach out, grab a leather dogs lead from its usual resting place, over the bottom stair banister, ….there from nowhere burst an overly excited large black and white border collie, his whole body bending as he wagged the long plumed tail,

Even from his bed he had heard the jangle of his leash, it didnt matter that she had tried so hard to pick it up silently he was ready to go with her, he always was,.But getting the leash attached to the now wriggling, overly excitable dog was near on impossible, doing it quietly was just never going to happen, , ….Looking up lovingly into his mistress,s face tail still wagging furiously, …flinging down the creased newspaper upon the first stair, the pair set off making good there escape, No idea quite where as yet, but they were going, this day was theirs alone, it was about them only….

For a short while they walked with a purpose, a speed,. wanting somehow to put as much space from that door, the very same door that normally held her captive, ..as streets flew by, both dog and his human companion relished the fresher air in their nostrils, they crossed a large very old grey rusting hair pin bridge, down the other side, here the paths were empty, mother nature was beginning to reclaim patches of long ago deserted waste ground, traffic thinned out, they travelled side by side revelling at being alone… The dog trotting jauntily at her leg, She ruffled his soft velvet shiny fur head, his opened panting mouth almost grinning at the touch, at once feeling her excitement, with a pitch in her voice he didn’t recall ever hearing before, she said “let’s run”…..he didn’t know what that was, but by mere tone alone he needed no second invitation, it sounded fun and he wanted in…..he hadnt ever in all his seven years seen her run before, but run they did,him slightly infront, his long tongue lolling from the side of his mouth, soft tapping of claws matching her feet pounding the pavements, the faster they ran, the more distance they covered, the freer both became…

Not stopping once until breathless, but it felt good, no actually it felt wonderful, she stretched up her arm, pulling with impatience a rubber band out of her long hair, the same band that had until now restrained it, waist length copper hair tumbled down her shoulders, she shook it loose, letting the cool air blow it playfully….Bird song came from amid a large copse of trees beside a small waterway… A large group of tiny blue Tits chattered excitedly together, before rising up into the sky suddenly, Green finch, Chaffinch, and sparrows fluttered merrily from branch to branch…

Walking ever further onward, the pavements were uneven, somewhat broken Now, tufts of grass, weeds grew between the cracks, long grasses stood tall, waving,rustling almost like whispers from their overgrown verge, did they see her? , did they already know her secret?, She was a thief they whispered, hushed in each other’s lofty ears….. Magpies cackled in the trees like they too knew, they were in on the secret…

The pair soon came upon another bridge, this one although strong, solid made with dark grey stone, it too was old, between stone bricks grew the browning stems of previous months Buddelia, just weeks ago it would have been covered in Butterflies, Bees,Hoverflies it’s leaves now curled against the Autumn chill, the once long musky perfumed purple bracks, now crisp and brown lay abandoned, …Halfway up the bridge was a large wooden gate, it,s useful days as a barrier for cattle now long over, it stood ajar, grass growing up and around it now, preventing it ever shutting these days…but it still held life, for bright green soft mosses had laid claim to deep weathered cracks, its rusting hinges became home to the industrious red spider mite…..She leant against it, while looking all around, marvelling at the beauty that grew up out of nowhere, beauty amongst decay, life ever renewing itself….

Further on stood a huge impressive building, it had once been a very bustling train station, serving the publics travel needs, either side of it were even now, fast rusting train tracks, it had once been filled with commuters, suited travellers, going about their important busy days, suit cases, bags, every once in a while shoving out a hand to look a watch, checking an overhead lighted board for that next train….but now it just stood silent, no garbled tannoy booming its message, now it was mainly a walk through..used as a way to get to someplace else, too fast sadly becoming increasingly abandoned..just the odd person here and there waiting for a bus…. the odd cheeky starling singing amongst its metal bolted girders up on high…..

Girl and dog also walking on through, causing more than one second glance, by now wild copper hair freed from constraints tangled, eyes brightened from exercise and the joy of just being. Quickly they left the big building and its inhabitants long behind, they wanted no truck with humanity of any kind today, conversation was not needed here, for they spoke their own language…..

Coming out into the bright morning sun once more, where to one side, bought them to the river Thames, it also held a long covered structure, a canopied walkway leading down to the ferry pontoon, where once the proud little ferry boats took daytrippers across the expanse of grey water to the other side, huge gangways unfurled from each boat where people hurried aboard, She had more than once done the same,, but no not today…..Today they carried on, walking beside the tall sea wall, it’s pale creamy grey concrete slabs covered in bright spray painted graffiti ….Apparently Kilroy was indeed still dead, And Tracy had ❤ed Dave…Causing you to wonder did Tracy still ❤ Dave or had they too become just a sad long ago memory another statistic…

Passed the small wooden white boarded pub, where Samuel Pepys was rumoured to have once written his diary, Where also many a local had cut their teeth on their very first pint, as she had herself some years ago now…. Further onward was the old fort surrounded by its protective moat , where swans glided poetically and effortlessly upon the glassy water. Ducks called somewhat off in the distance to one another, while large Gulls circled the blue sky overhead, their bright white wings outstretched catching upward thermals, holding them magically aloft, loudly making their presence heard, but she was not convinced the calls were not of an unaccusing nature, eyes were everywhere…….

Leaning against a metal framed barrier, watching the ripples move across the moats water, reflections of white pieces of nothingness clouds, mirror images of the graceful swans, wavy outlines from the fort, ..unsure of how long she had stood there, this still lone image, the wind from the River whipping her hair across her face, but though many stopped by to ask was she alright, yet here she still stood, hearing echoes of childhood past, screaming children chasing each other with buckets of cold water, fishing nets full of slimy bright green blanket weed, life had been so wonderfully free and simple then…..

Looking into the sky she knew it was all to soon time to return to the demands of her other life, the life filled with wants of her time, her precious time, but then it wasn’t hers was it, it never had been…every hour, minute, second until exhaustion claimed her, was accountable, to another, who spent her time all to freely, there were no weekends or days off, each day rolled into the last….year after endless year.

Walking slowly , the spring now gone from both of their step, they walked via the road that passed the pretty common to home, coloured ponies grazed freely amongst the tufted rye grass, one looked up to watch the strangers as they passed by, before returning his head to the task at hand, She knew it was just a delay tactic, but even minutes were to be grabbed at…

Over cattle grids, the old hump back bridge onto the homeward path, deep in her dreamworld, clinging hopelessly to any residual moments of their glorious day, so wrapped up in thought that she did not see the smiling face of an old friend. Or her name being called,. the wind carrying it quickly away along with her distant dreams, Finally the dogs head looking behind him made her turn, recognising the face immediately, She walked back.

All at once embarrassed by the untamed hair, and the state of her appearance, She apologised, Her friend of her childhood, grabbed a straying tendril of her hair, laughed heartily and said, “I’ve not seen you look this well in years, his smile genuine, you look beautiful actually”….she doubted at once the beautiful bit looking down at her muddy feet…but knew she had indeed felt well and more truely at peace than she had in a lifetime….she recanted her day, her perfect, glorious free day, her stolen few hours, hours away from the bonds of servitude….a solitary tear made its way down her red cheek, turning her face away at once, to hide it from him she left, long after he stood confused, watching the sad small figure until she turned the corner….

Even before she put the key into the lock at her door, She sensed malice, her hair stood up at the nape of her neck, her dogs large brown eyes at once showed concern for his beloved mistress, he felt her fear, smelt anguish oozing from her very pours, it was too late to walk away, there was nowhere to go, escapes all gone now….before she could steal herself to move, the door whipped open, all she had feared stood before her, vitriolic words tumbled one after the other, hate spat directly into her face….accusation, poison, anger directed her way…the stolen day disappeared into ethos, guilt wracked her mind for what she knew not, the beauty was no longer……but it was a day some thirty years later she would treasure forever, taking it out to relive in times of great need…..two days later her beloved companion Matt (her dog was no more) …together that would always be their day….a perfect stolen day, a day they would always walk together perhaps still did…..