Game of drones….

Before we begin anyone expecting me to write something intelligent and profound about those small flying spy cameras on wings, are going to be sorely disappointed 😞, I know little to nothing about them, only they fly😲, and Amazon keep threatening us, to use them for deliveries, ….try as I might I can’t see those annoying little gnat type plane things, carrying those huge boxes containing only cotton buds or a singular spatula(I so love that word, spatulaaaaaaa😃)…. Plus now I think on this how’s the drone going to ring on your doorbell to set your dog off? 🤔.

No this is a story of one battle of wills, (So far I’m not sure that i,m winning, . Last week while going out into the garden to hang out my laundry, I noticed a few more than usual wasps hanging about, near one section of garden I had only just recently cleared., carrying on minding my own business, (I get such a kick out watching my wash blow upon the line, reminds me greatly of my childhood days….

As I walked back slow and dreamily, just enjoying the feel of the warm summer breeze on my skin, my revelry was just about to be shattered, …That tell tale annoying buzz flew within inches of my left ear, .Of course not to be content with this,.the wee devil(a wasp), turned about., only I swear this time I could feel the beat of their wings as it made its second fly passed, ……I know of old not to swipe at wasps, (being told as kids it only agitates them) Agitated them!!!!!! being stung on the backside, as I was at the tender age of five didn’t make me a happy camper either….So I tried my best to ignore my unwelcome visitor, as he dive bombed my head, getting even lower on each return trip, .Seeing I wasn’t giving him any reaction, he decided to go and fetch a few Waspy friends to assist in his endever,. By now even if “he” wasn’t agitated I know I damn well was😒, ….I had visions of being stung many times over, they were by now obviously having a ball, fetching their friends, to see a crazy human, a large lime green laundry basket over her head😁,

Later that afternoon as I walked quietly as I could, tip toeing passed where they had been loitering with by now some intent, …..when I neared the area, I noticed they were now out in larger numbers, (Oh boy I thought to myself, now they had bought their own audience😁, bet they had mini bags of pop corn and sat their kids in the front to get a better view….But what I also took note of, before they promptly began bombing my head, was they were going into a hole under ground😲….For Joy now they had set up home…..And I was about to be the local entertainment..

Please do remember this as we carry on our journey, (I as a pacifist, content to let them live out their little lives in my back yard, we could peacefully coexist right?!!!!!!. Erm seems not, each and every time I walked passed, just wanting to hang out the washing, that’s all I wanted!!!!!!?😲😲😲😲😲, .I swear these guys had sentries posted outside that nest, just standing guard, for me to walk by, waiting…. It seems vibrations set my new neighbours in flight, And no matter how quietly I attempted to walk passed, they knew of my approach.

So I searched Google, that Font of all knowledge for information on wasp nests,. first thing I learnt was wasps this time of year are somewhat angry and dangerous, …do not approach their nest……But what if theres no other choice here?, What if they are picketing your laundry area?, This no help I turn to you tube for information on eviction of wasp tenants….I’m ready to send in the bailiffs, but not sure this will work….🤔, As I read on it seems there’s hundreds of videos on how to send your wasps packing….I watched hours of footage, fast becoming a wasp wrangler expert, ….turns out you can buy spray foams, powders, and many other Cocktails of chemical welfare to rid you of the pests, . I’m not keen on adding more pesticides to the planet, so research natural remedies next.

Seems your average wasp doesn’t like dish washing detergent, …Well I certainly have that!, both in eucalyptus and pomegranate flavours, reading on I learn you need to add peppermint oil into the mix, …..this I also have, adding liberal amounts , because more is always good right?, …This you are supposed to apply later in the evening when your average wasps are all tucked up in their little wasp beds…..I make up the mixture and wait till just before dusk, ….creeping slowly up to the underground hive, my heart racing, ….the video also instructs you to have a clear path of escape to run from the angry wasps, if your discovered, (Anyone actually tried out running a hord of very soapy annoyed wasps) no neither had i).

Luck happened to be with me that evening, there were no wasps within my eye line,. Silently i approached the nest,, making sure nothing was behind me to fall over as I make good my escape, I tip the bottle into the nest, leaving it to drain, I walk away as fast as my legs will carry me, heart still racing, as I do I’m convinced I hear the drone of a thousand infuriated wasp close behind, but there’s not of course,.So i go in, close the Windows, turn off the lights and pretend I’m not in…..I hide under my fleece blanket for at least the next hour, (what do you mean fleece blankets don’t have magical protection powers?, we all know this to be true😁) .

I long to go out at some point that evening and check on the status of the nest, I don’t of course, what I do do is hide, till early the next morning, .where upon I couldnt wait a moment longer, . It didn’t bode well for me, when I note three wasps side by side, drinking from the bird bath, …..as I drew nearer their home, there they all are!!!, flying happily about, only now they are squeakily clean and smelling devine, odour de peppermint filling the air, all I needed to do was play them some Barry White, light a few candles and they would all be in the mood for lurve!!!!!!!!❤😁,sighs back to the drawing board, ……I then read about alcohol , I pour the whole bottle of a cheap Bordeaux down the hole, I swear I thought I heard music thumping out of there the next few nights, ….I tried Cheyenne pepper, curry powder, an onion……don’t ask?, It’s just what I read, but still my wasps persist,only now taking food orders.

Only thing now is they have gotten used to my walking passed to collect my wash, And wether it was my strange concoction of offerings to the wasp Queen, or they just realise after the laundry basket incident, that I’ve run out of party tricks, we will never know, but they no longer bombard my head, So we have reached a cease fire, called a truce , I,m happy to live with their presence in my garden, if they are willing to stop chasing me😁……on reading I have learnt wasps only use their nests once before their winter hibernation, then the queen finds a new nest…..she need not think it’s in here though….do not attempt none of this at home folks…..stay well, stay safe…love from me and the wasps …❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤x