Thursday……
The night before hadn’t been quite so restful, I had slept off and on, but no actually deep sleep, that healing dream less state, where the mind is at true peace….I think all in all I slept roughly for that usual hour right before I had to rise, (you know what I mean) lol, . I had set two alarms,. one on my tablet, the other on my phone, which was questionable at best, because I was semi conscious at the time of setting both, and the phone I use likes to keep me guessing …but ring they did, their tones harsh and shrill in the cold morning air, also in my poor head. ….I hated getting up, I’m not good first thing in the mornings, (in fact I know you will find this most difficult to believe but I’m grouchy as hell) best if you quietly place a large mug of hot coffee in my room, making sure to stand well clear and exit quickly…😁,
Even my caffeine laced coffee did not stir my sleep befuddled brain, so I stumbled toward the bathroom, turning the shower on to sterilize hot, and stood under the boiling spray until my skin turned a lovely shade of crimson, steam filling my small bathroom as well by now coming off my skin, …See in exactly an hour Debbie would be around to take me to see a prospective new home for myself and Cinnamon, I was excited of course I was, but also nervous, . I longed to find a place to call home, this living between two places is stressful if not somewhat exhausting….
I tried to keep a positive frame of mind(which isn’t a natural state for me) I had really liked the little one bed, one bath quarter house from its photos, (New word for me, Quarter house), up until last Monday that is, I had never heard of this expression). But something worried me, couldn’t tell you what?, Just did..for once I was actually ready on time when Debbie arrived, I had put out my clothes the night before., a smile painted firmly on my face along with my make up, …last minute nerves meant, I had walked out the door without my mask,(twice) then i couldn’t remember where the house key was, to lock up(it was on my purse, in my hand the whole time, 😁.
Thursday had dawned the most beautiful sunny morning, not a cloud to be seen, somewhat warm even for the time of year, I went out without my jacket on, wasn’t at all cold….Debbie senses my nerves, she kept up a lovely stream of chatter all the way through the busy roads, my mind kind of distracted, looking forward to seeing the house……Via the phone I had been told to expect someone called Jess to show us around..that made me giggle …because of course Jess was there his always there….I had pictured this Jess though to be slender, beautifully turned out, manicured, hair perfect with wrists full of jangling bracelets, young woman for some reason …
We pull up to the front of the house, Debbie by now more excited than I was, she was out the car and up the small pathway before I had alighted as daintily as any fairy elephant can.😁, ….I looked up at the bedroom window on arrival, there looking back down at us was a man and a woman … At first I presumed them a couple, looking over it, But the guy met us at the door….And introduced himself as “Geoff”!, Now unless I either had miss heard the estate agent while on my original call the day previous or overnight this Jess had been remiss in shaving and grown a rather nice grey beard, with matching hair and spoke with a Deep masculine voice,….ooops!!!!, …… As you can imagine it doesn’t take long to look around three rooms…but as we do i,m already visualising where my meagre furnishings are going, seeing myself on dark nights curled up on the sofa chatting to Jesse, curtains drawn, warm and toasty, all very intimate. Before leaving I tell Geoff I was indeed very interested …This of course was an understatement, in my head I had already moved in…..Geoff told me to call their rental team at the office and tell them that I would like to apply for the house, ….
I didn’t even get one foot in the car, when an excited Debbie says ” Go on call then!!!!!!” ” Do it now before you lose it” …..I sigh, I hate phones, loath even more talking to someone I can’t see, much less know ….but she’s so pleased I liked the little house, its always hard not do as she bids, …I call someone at the estate agents who informs me all the letting team are in a meeting…..could they call back?…..I assure them this will be fine, Anything to get off the phone…..And as we drive away, Debbie has already made plans for a hot chocolate at the local Costa fortune, I mean coffee, And I for one was not opposed, …. The Wednesday, (Day before) storm Dudley had made his presence well and truly felt, …I lay in my living room ,the sky black, clouds passing by like speeding race cars, wind howling about my small home, I felt cozy, and immediately saddened this would be one of the last storms here…. It Seems though that Dudley was only just preparing us for the joys yet to come……Debbie wanted to be home early just in case storm Eunice should come a calling early….she was due on Friday by all accounts….BBC weather man anyway
Before battening down the hatches, splicing the main brace, securing the plants in their tubs, we were going to enjoy our brief moment in the local Costa…..I always enjoy Debbies company, she’s fun and is prepared to put up with my whacky sense of humour(only Jesse really survives this, or indulges anyhow ….I wasn’t at all hungry, but I can smell the hot chocolate, …Standing at the counter in the large already filled coffee shop, I as an ex cleaner take note of the littered filthy floor, it’s covered, not in crumbs but huge chunks of food, wrappers, and cartons, ..I want to turn around and leave, but Debbie was there and she’s always so good about running me about, so I do my best to ignore the obvious, ..I see Debbie eyeing the last slice of millionaires shortcake….knowing from old, if I don’t have anything then she won’t either, then I feel guilty….
I settle for a sticky sickeningly looking Cinnamon bun, (at once feel nauseous at the thought, , We are asked by a rather bored looking young girl, hand on hip, chewing her cud,(I mean gum) 😁 What do you want?, It’s all I can do not ask for a vat of disinfectant, cloths and a Hoover, looking once more at the floor though, I decide they probably don’t posess such an object, And just order two hot chocolate,s……still chewing mouth ajar, it was in fact like looking into the tumble dryer(gum swirling about her mouth) she sighs and comes back with, Small, medium, or large……I refer to Debbie who chimes in mediums, ……Girl not once making eye contact says, “cream and marshmallows”, …..”No Thank you we say in unison”, …..this by now was said to the girls back as she walked off…..seems please and Thank you were as unemployed as their Hoover……
Debbie asks me to go and find, a spot for us to be seated,. while she brings a tray with our cakes and drinks….I scan about, trying my best to find somewhere I don’t at least have to clamber over the rot and decay of the past six months…..I wipe our table down, using a clean tissue and hand gel from my bag, just In time for our repasts to arrive, Debbie struggling under the weight of a large tray, . I could almost hear it groan with size of the hot chocolate cups……I look on in horror, as Deb places one in front of each of us….I go quiet all at once, (no I do at times honest)Debbie laughs, “yeah it’s a good job we ordered mediums”, . Honestly folks there’s enough hot chocolate there for a week, we could have gotten two straws and shared one….I tried over the next half hour to valiantly empty the pool sized cup of luke warm soupy brown mess…I didn’t succeed 😁….I felt that super thick chocolate slosh about my insides all day, and that did not!!! Feel good.
We had sat there waiting for the expected phone call from the estate agents, telling us about our next moves forward on the little quarter house…..but nothing came, We got up and left the squalor, plus half our drinks behind…, I at this point did not feel particularly well, I had noted on the Cinnamon bun, what. I suspected to be tiny specks of candied orange peel, (orange in any form, even a drop makes me extremely ill for days) I had I thought, picked it off to the best of my abilities, but Ive doubts I got it all….By the time I reached home I just wanted to lay someplace dark and quiet….but couldn’t (I awaited that call)…….two hours later I called them back, seems the renting teams meeting was going to be an all day affair….could I call back tomorrow?…..Jesse left emails for me…I was anxious, tired yet just could not relax…
The next day, my body still not quite recovered from the Costa fortune experience😁, I get up none the less, trying to stay busy, Anything to keep my mind off that infernal Cinnamon bun, that now sat like stone in my stomach, and the long impending expected call, …..when it did finally come, I had sat in a world of my own, wishing my phone to ring….then as it finally did, I jumped out of my skin…And fell on it at once, to answer it quickly…..the conversation was brief, no punches pulled….it seems the landlady wouldn’t accept Cinnamon(this is my rabbit now folks, not the offending poor excuse for a cake) , I tried to explain his not just a rabbit, his my companion, my room mate, I live alone and his my only company) his uber clean, lives in a highly polished piece of two story furniture, specifically made to his needs., I at once feel offended for him, she then uttered this parting blow” if you could just get “rid”, of him you can apply again…..I flung the phone down in disgust….look across at Cinnamon cheerfully chewing on his box oblivious, this is not the first refusal …..but his all I’ve got until I can get to Jesse and he depends on me…I him…..
Saturday
By now the full effects of the huge storm (Eunice) on that Friday afternoon and well into the night, were known, (as was that blooming Cinnamon bun) I lay upon the sofa, not feeling exactly ill, but just not well either, …. wind howled outside, whistling through any gaps in the doors, rain lashing heavily against the moss covered glass panelled conservatory roof,(more than once I expected it to cave in under the force) (I can’t lie I was nervous, storms make me antsy anyhow, unable to settle, not scared as such, I just feel them more than most I guess). I was restless filled with nervous energy, sleep evaded till the early hours, where I eventually like the storm was spent….And finally slept….
I awoke a few hours later, tired, aching, my stomach still sore, I slept off and on all afternoon, by that evening there was no denying it, I felt a migraine brewing, the right side of my face growing numb off and on, my teeth all hurt, …I took my pain meds in the vain hope I had caught it before it could take full force,..I was alas too late, my head hurt, I was left only seeing half of anything, this didn’t worry me though, it’s happened before, (although it’s been a while, I’ve managed to avoid orange up until then 😁) .today, Sunday I’m okish, just suffering the fallout, a little washed out, tired, emotional, I always miss Jesse more at these times, it’s harder to not feel the loss of his being there to hold me and make things better, just in the same room really,…. I walked out the living room at one point when it became just too much, sat in my bedroom, rocking myself as i Sob aimlessly and silently, ….in the distance a hear a calming voice, ” Honey you ok? “…..I wipe my eyes walk back into the living room, smile on my face, because there’s Jesse, And all the while his there, I guess then I am indeed ok……… Be good and take care of yourselves folks 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🐁🐁🐁💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 