Bonkers bananas bonanza

You would think from someone who has cooked regular for over forty years, a three ingredient recipe would be the simplest thing in the world to do well right!!!!!!!!, Hahaha, that is until you get to know me….it had been a long and quite stressful day , I was tired, my back ached in every possible way …..Perfect night to try out a new recipe…notttttt?😁,

I gathered up the three main ingredients needed in preparation to begin ( well there is only three) , plus my usual couple of twists, I like to add to make any recipe mine of course…….in this case Cinnamon, dates and almond extract, first part of said recipe required smooshing five ripe bananas( ermmmm mine are not quite ripe) , Smooshing is a term used by any good cook yah know lol, … so not having an electric whisk or any other kind of machine to pulverize my bananas , I use what I have to hand……A potato masher….what????😁, It’s perfectly logical to such as i…..in the past I have been known to put fruit in a plastic bag and try walking on it……..(.do not even be tempted do this!!!!!!, It went up the sides of my shoes, trousers, on or is that in the carpet, flying across the room on to the walls ,ceiling and curtains , I had successfully decorated my entire kitchen but had now no fruit left ) …..

any way back to thing at hand……grasping my masher tightly in my hot little hand, I brandish it at the first peeled banana, I mash that thing to a pulp, it is now almost liquid in form, And I’m ready to set about the next one, I bring down my masher onto, the unsuspecting fruit and as I do I hear a sharp crack, no not only a crack, actually a loud snap……I have managed to snap my masher in half, ….the banana is laying there taunting me, I swear it’s laughing,…

how can something so soft in texture, break a solid thing like a masher? , well it can if I,m using it…..( I can do anything me) …..so masher broken , still five bananas left to go, I’m by now more determined than ever, it’s not winning, I will smoosh these fruit,s if it’s the last thing I do ( it may well be)…….I use the head of the masher and in a fit of rage I savagely go about pulping the four surviving fruits……I won, they were defeated…And my hand is now sore from the broken end of the masher sticking into the palm…….but I did it

Next is the flour, I used a wheatfree self raising flour, the recipe calls for 2 and 1/2 cups, getting out my different coloured measuring cups , I thrust the largest, a pink sturdy cup into my flour packet, plumes of flour leave the packet and I hear a crack, then stare in disbelief at the handle, still in my hand, the cup part in the bag…..surely I’m not that strong I think ?, But it happened , and I’m left using the cup as it is……I muddle through, completing the mixture, once the ingredients where combined it looked very like a cake mix, smelt devine, …..

the recipe call,s for putting the slow cooker on high for two hours, Great we can put it on , safely go away to watch some of our latest Nordic noir…….we get comfy synchronise our timers and wait excitedly for our prize , lovely fresh home baked banana bread, Jesse snoozes contentedly away in his chair, while he rests I clean my kitchen, put away my pots and pans, then sit in anticipation………before long Alexa at Jesse’s house is booming out that await is finally up……he wakes and goes to check the bread, I hear an excited ewwwww Honey it’s huge…….😮, I presume we are still talking banana bread here, And finally I am tempted off my resting place to check it out…….

I hold my breath, grab a cloth to protect my hand from the steam as I lift the lid, but oddly there is no steam……not only that, my what should be a lovely golden brown well baked banana bread…..is raw liquid flour ,banana, carnation milk goo……it’s just a slightly warmed up mixture, …..the red light is on at the side of the slow cooker, it’s on high as instructed, but nothing!!!!!!!, Nothing has happened, I’m dumbfounded, but shut down the lid , go away for another hour. Maybe mine just needs longer?…….I watch more of our series ,while Jesse mmmmm,s and arrrrrrrr,s happily over his first slice of perfect bread……an hour later I get up ,check slow cooker and still i,m greeted with raw milky liquid, ….again I go away ,wait yet another hour, doubling the recipes time by now…….go back annnnnd you’ve guessed it, still no further on……I angrily twist the silver dial to low……go away thinking this is never going to cook…..I leave it for yet another hour, then creep out to the kitchen , by doing so hoping if it doesn’t know I’m there, it will have cooked………And by jingo ….it only had…..there it was a gorgeous perfect oval thick golden banana bread…….I sighed with relief and called through to Jesse ” it’s done” ……as I sit eating my warm glorious slice of goodness …….I realise since I’ve had my little slow cooker, that I affectionately call Colin, don’t ask lol (but that night he was called many other names though) I have never used the high setting, low till then cooking it fast enough for me……that was when reality dawned , I have the only slow cooker, whose low setting is actually the high and visa versa…..it indeed could only be something of mine…..😁…….ingredients for slow cooker Banana bread

5 well ripened bananas……..2 and 1/2 measuring cups of self raising flour…..one tin of evaporated milk…….cook for two hours on high, orrrrrr in my case five hours at who the devil knows …..be careful out there folks 💗