I’m free to do what I want any ole time🎶 ……

Hi all, i,m hoping I find you ok ..life treating you well and all that good stuff …it’s been a while since my last visit here, which is funny when I consider things. See two weeks ago, I looked back over a quick story I had written last year. This is always fun …You get to see all the faults ,mistakes large gaps etc. On reading it over , I decided to not leave it as it was, unfinished.( I do this a lot) I liked bits of it, I’m no writer you understand, but these wee stories oft appear in my head, they dwell there frustrating the hell out of me as I just can’t get them, out of my head and written up either on paper or via my tablet…

I decided with this particular tale to work on it further ,for an hour per day, if for no other reason than to get in writing practice… For those first few days I found it hard going, terribly laborious, not being disciplined enough with myself to carry it out, . I’m terrible for starting projects, getting bored, disenchanted, or just plain never satisfied with my work…

But as the days wore on, I soon realised not only was this exercise great for filling time, but that same time was actually passing most pleasantly, in fact some days two or three hours would pass unnoticed, I became so engrossed in my character,s ,padding out their stories, And in trying to build up their lives, It was character building for me too,

I’m not only working on this project, Poetry has made a resplendent reappearance, in fact suddenly I find I’m writing again for the joy of it, but in doing this I have been neglectful of my blogging…but then life at the moment has been full of twists and turns. Big events have taking place , one being my long long awaited Divorce ….why long, well it’s taken all told, three whole years long….blame the Covid thing , plus mass incompetence by a few concerned…but it’s over now and I’m finally free,

At first I was very upset , feeling once again a total failure, I had always promised myself I would make my marriage work, come what may, and I worked harder than anyone I know believe me!….but if your the only one that’s putting in all the work, then there’s no doubt about it, that’s one doomed marriage , after giving myself a sound talking too ( yeah I even talk my own head off), some months to recover . I discovered my freedom.. And That’s one odd feeling , suddenly I can dye my hair any colour I blooming want( And folks I sure did,… it was orange , fire engine red, almost blonde ,I did it all with bells on) , I could even crop it short, ( who knew) ( I now have a swanky pixie cut going on) .wear any crazy thing I like, …the huge thing for me, was eating when I liked, ( not the same time every evening) wether I was hungry or not, ohhhhh and food has real flavour you know, …I have a whole shelf of herbs, spices and bottle,s of essences, flavours …onions, I can add onions to my food, oh and garlic, lots of garlic…I’m so excited by this…can you tell ?

my house stays clean for more than an hour,,, I find it you put things away, they stay there!!!!!!!( No really they do) , I can draw at 3am , stay awake all night watching trash tv, lay and read if I so desire, shopping doesn’t have to be done on Wednesday,s yah know.?..😮, And I can do housework whenever the mood takes me….after 35 years these may seem small things to you , but to me it,s bloody fabulous….I love the fact I can play music till my little hearts content ….run about in a big baggy t shirt of Jesse,s without one raised eyebrow…..oh folks you will never know how wonderful that is….

I’m still not leaving my house much yet, (so not totally free), again due to Covid ,being immune compromised and the after Effects of long hauling. But I’m working on that too, . I did however go out with my friend Debbie to a lovely little cafe, it’s new to us both, but one I think I shall take time out to revisit, it served delicious tea, had a whole shelf filled with the most seductive home made cakes, I drooled not stop, till i resembled somewhat like a great Dane with its droolaces, , it was only made worse by my friend most sweetly offering to buy me a slice, …I was strong folks, I resisted its calling, I looked it in the chocolate frosting and refused to be tempted by its wickedness……we chatted away catching up on all our news , Debbies exciting new job, and my latest happenings….

I also have taken to buying myself flowers, it not only fills the house with glorious perfume, but makes me hark back to flowers for mum when she was alive, there was not a week I didn’t take at least one bunch of not more, as I sit cutting off the ends , getting them in the vase, smelling each flower, I’m transported back in time, to my mother’s house, the light flooding through the huge sitting room windows, I would be sat on the floor , arranging them with care, so they looked pretty for her, we would chat, and talk over a book, soap or family, now each big pink star gazer Lily , rose, or freesia, is like a time machine …And not only do I get to enjoy their beauty but it’s a lovely memory to boot…..well folks I’m signing out for now, as my eyes are blurring from strain lol, you take care folks and bye for now xx