Your Best Gift

It’s a simple title for what I’ve observed of late has given me a simple lesson. Every few days, as most know, I go sit down t my local cafe. It’s my little oasis of calm and gives time to escape my room, get warm and drink really good coffee. (Really is good coffee.) But, this aside, it brings me that perfect opportunity to do my other hobby (people watch). Since childhood I’ve always sat and took in my fellow passengers of life going about their daily lives.

This I didn’t do quite as seriously as I do now. Even up to a year ago I’d sit quietly watching people come and go. I enjoyed their interactions but mostly I would have the greatest time making up stories in my head about how I thought their lives went. This could have hilarious outcomes. I would see the most ordinary of couples and have them down as secretly living this parallel lifestyle. (Russian spies, undercover police, explorers, missionary workers or 70 year old phone sex workers.) LOL. Yes, you never knew, folks, why I’m sat smiling to myself while I’m sipping my large Americano.

But of late I have stopped this. Quietened the constant mind chatter, relaxed and really observed. I sit in my corner mainly alone, although of late I have had company; one, a therapy dog who took to getting up and coming over and laying at my side, the other, the sweetest little girl I’ve met in a long time who came over and showed me the game she was playing. I’m not sure how it worked but, hey, she was impressive, knocking out levels like a pro. I sat scratching my head and felt suddenly old. LOL. I get a lot from these brief moments of interaction with fellow customers. I’m told by my therapist and Jesse it’s good for me. I trust ’em. LOL. (sighs) I’m doing it again (digressing), but, yes, mostly I sit alone and today there wasn’t that many people there. But the ones that were, well, it saddened me. See, they sit and eat, drink, but never interact. Now I know you’re thinking to yourself ‘well, that’s what they’re there for! Maybe they don’t like each other, LOL, or just not want to talk… sit quietly‘.

But They are on their phones and just not talking. These are families, couples, friends, loved ones. If only they knew how I long to change places with them… what I wouldn’t give to be sat there with Jesse. Yes, he’s there in my phone and we chat, but if he was with me I would hold his hand and look in his eyes, chat like our days in Denny’s. I saw this while there, too… whole families at times sat texting or looking at something unmissable on their cell phone, not once looking at each other. Today there was a grandmother desperately trying to talk to her family. Instead she sat talking to herself. It reminded me of times with my mum and how very much I love and miss her despite things between us. There was also a mum and dad with kids, both on phones while the kids looked bored and restless, only taking their noses out of phoneland long enough to tell the kids to behave. Again the thought came: my kids are all grown up now. Oh what I wouldn’t give to have them that age, be going for picnics or out for the treat of tea and cake.

It’s here that we never realise just how quickly time passes us… how we take for granted time spent with our friends or families. Time for each other is our most precious of gifts. Giving of yourself to really not just listen but hear. I’m sure I’ve done this too at times. I’m sure I’ve only half cocked an ear or just murmured a response, but it is when I sit back and really see how we treat our oh so little time we have for ourselves and each other that I find we waste so many opportunities… to be together, to give that most wonderful gift: us and our time. xx