I did eventually have the money for my ticket and Jess booked it. He had a PC so it was easier. Our excitement grew the nearer it got. We had several countdowns on Facebook. Our poor friends with our constant posts of how much in love we are, our endless poems… most actually, come to think of it, loved it.
My troubles here grew daily and I walked more to try to counter the turmoil. Jess supported me as best he could… not easy, though, through a screen. I know I longed to be held as each day something else cropped up. The need to feel safe and loved was stronger. My love for Jess grew to the point it actually frightened me. I had no control over my feelings. I’d spend my days with my head in the clouds, just wishing the days away so I could finally get to be with my man. I was still losing weight at this point and was pleased with my figure and new-found confidence. I’d often referred to myself as a heifer, much to Jess’s annoyance. Right up to the week… days before my flight we had our backs up against more and more trouble.
See, as you know, I was in an abusive relationship and my ex upped his hand weekly. I was followed, harassed and, in among all this, I had a court case. There were times I just wanted to give up. I was so tired exhaustion took over. I was locked behind closed doors 24 hrs a day. I, if anyone, was the prisoner. Poor Jess watched me lose my hard won independence all over again. I think this was hard on him. He also hated it when I had to go into town where my ex lived to shop and see my doctor’s, etc. I texted Jess constantly to let him know I was fine, but there were times a bus didn’t run, leaving me stranded there for up to two hours. My phone would lose signal leaving him frantic. Also in this time I had three angina attacks brought on by stress. Imagine being across the world on a small screen watching your loved one in pain and all you can do is sit and watch. Poor guy must have aged over night.
One time was quite amusing though. As I called our paramedics, Jess, as ever on chat with me, as he had by this time got me to finally video chat, he didn’t leave me the whole while the paramedics checked on me. They loved this, asking Jess a dozen questions likes where did he park his horse ? Well, of course, being American he must be a cowboy. Also he must have a gun in his holster. If I hadn’t been in so much pain it would have been hysterical because, of course, his horse was in the garage wasn’t it?, alongside the lawnmower, trimmer, BBQ and drum kit. The horse can play In The Air Tonight wonderfully now. Not really, but he’s had the odd mouse playing bass though.
Long weeks passed. I became more and more isolated, withdrawn. Jess stayed on longer with me when my fears got the better of me. And believe me I had plenty to fear day and night. By the time October came I was just barely putting one foot in front of the other. I packed my bags with some trepidation. I’d never flown. It meant tackling large airports, three planes, border control… Remember, just weeks before, I could barely leave my house alone. This was huge. This was bigger than huge. This was bloody massive! It happened to others didn’t it? Not little quiet folks like me, surely.
As the days ticked off my nerves got worse. I was actually going to see Jess. He had booked us a hotel room for two nights… thought a bit of time alone together was called for. He lives with his brother. My nerves jangled at the thought ‘What if he doesn’t like me?… What if he doesn’t find me attractive?’ A dozen questions fired into my brain daily. The big day arrived. My daughter and her husband had spent the night at my bungalow ready to drive me to the airport in the early hours. I spoke to Jess right up until I lost the signal, it being rural where I live. He still texted but no seeing the face of the man I loved. I missed him deeply.
At the airport I had assistance. These people are great, folks, helping me right onto the plane, then meeting me on the other end. The last flight was delayed and I’d not spoken to Jess in hours. I grew tired and worried. What if he wasn’t there? What if he didn’t meet me? Where would I go for three months? I finally found a way to call him and got a very excited Jess. We chatted a few minutes. I had this long delay at the airport… plenty of time to become excitable, nervous. Finally my flight took off after the storm delay which would setback it’s arrival. I didn’t care… I was seeing the man of my dreams. No turbulence, wind, rain or anything was stopping me getting to his arms. (There’s a laugh there I will fill you in on later.) The flight was indeed bumpy but I still loved every minute. See, I’ve discovered I love flying. Who knew? I reached Jess’s airport at twelve that night. I’d been flying hours. I needed a wash. I looked like hell. A porter turned up to assist me. Now… this bit of our story I’ll leave to Jess, poor guy.
When I did get to my man I hated I didn’t look my best. I couldn’t make eye contact. He had bought a beautiful red rose… stood looking at me. I stood, head down, shyly looking at my feet. We had spent weeks talking about this very thing and I’m blowing it, folks. He tried to kiss me. I pulled away. I’d not been kissed in thirty years. I was so scared I’d get it wrong. He eventually settled on holding my hand. I loved this. It felt good… the most natural thing in the world. As we got in the elevator again Jess approached me for a kiss. Again I pulled away, still so very worried I’d mess it up before hitting our hotel room. We found his car and set off for the hotel. I had a tummy full of butterflies. I hadn’t slept with a man in years. But Jess put his hand on my knee and I felt all my worries drift away. I wanted this guy! My nerves dissipated. I turned and shyly looked at him while he drove. He was the most gorgeous of men I’d ever known. My heart fluttered like a dozen caged birds trying to escape. We got to our room within minutes. I put down my case and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me so tenderly I thought I’d swoon. LOL Well, I did, but not onto the floor. This wasn’t me. I’m a tomboy who has slept with the same man for nearly four decades. Nothing like this happens to woman like me does it? Well, yes it does and thank the gods for it.
I’m not going into detail… I’ll spare you that… but our first night was absolutely perfect. I awoke in his arms once that night to feel him gently brushing back my hair from my face. I loved his soft breaths on my neck. Nothing had prepared me for a night so beautiful, so wonderful. After years of Hell, ladies, I’d finally met heaven. And did we French kiss? You bet your life we did! And it was all and more that I’d dreamed it would be. He was a very able teacher. I fluffed my lessons a lot, needed that little extra coaching. LOL Oh come onnnnn… my darling was there, I was there in his arms. He was kissing the hell outta me and I wasn’t complaining.
To be continued…
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 