Jess and I often talked about what it would be like, you know, to actually be in the same room. Take into account we had only seen each other on our prospective screens until now. Okay, we knew we were attracted to one another. Lord how we were attracted. We had talked of our first meeting over and over countless times… both of us having issues with our looks… neither thought ourselves attractive. Both decided the other would run soon as we saw the other. I got upset one night when Jess said “you know you’re going to take one look at me and march right back on that plane.” This guy really didn’t know me at all did he?
I was so far in love with him I wasn’t ever going to be able to stop. He’s my everything, folks. My first and last thought. I broke into tears at that point, told him my heart had always dictated where he was concerned. It’s true, it always has. Jess said he had a scar down his chest he was worried about. I said I’ve also a scar on my chest, and, yes, it always bothered me someone seeing it. It’s my lumpectomy scar from fifteen years previous. Okay, it’s not noticeable until I undress but, hey, I was going to right? Arghhhhh!!! And there’s another thing I was going to be naked in front of him. Lord have mercy, I mean even my ex of 35 years had never seen me naked. The thought was scary as hell. See, I’d been attacked at 16. Numerous other things had happened along the way. No one and I mean NO ONE saw me naked. But Jess expressed such a wish that I would feel comfortable, confident enough to do this with him. Uh huh. “We’ll see.” But, yes, my scar was an issue for me. I sat upset thinking maybe this would put off this amazing man I loved so deeply and who had been through so very much with me. So I did something, folks, totally out of character…I asked Jess to show me his scar. Then I’d take a picture of mine. In my half-cocked logic I thought ‘get it over before I traveled all that way. Might as well face the heartbreak now.’
Nervously I pulled down my top and bra. Thank God it was a nice lacy one. LOL With shaking hands I took a snap. It’s okay, folks. My scar’s at the top. Nothing crude. All above board. Jess went first, if I remember rightly, and it didn’t look bad at all… not like he said it did. I longed to run my fingers across the ridged scar. I smiled at the screen as we still hadn’t gone live on FB at this point. Then came my turn. I nearly backed out, but that wouldn’t have been fair, so I quickly put on the picture and held my breath. What am I saying? I couldn’t breathe! To Jess I’d done a major disservice as he looked and he must have known I’d be worried he replied straight away “Honey, that’s nothing. In fact I can hardly see anything.” I almost cried with relief, but part of me still doubted when he saw it.
We shared much of the next few weeks. One thing was a bucket list I had. As I say, we held nothing back from each other now. One thing on my list was to learn to French kiss. Jess was amused at first but he knew my background, knew I was indeed serious, I’d never done it. He most kindly offered to teach me. I knew I’d be a more than willing student.
.It was still some time before I had the money to buy my ticket but we both talked of little else. Our friends were equally excited for us, wanting pictures of our first meeting. Like hell! I thought.
To be continued…
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 