Tonight isn’t about another chapter in my story of myself and Jess. Tonight is about this wonderful man I fell deeply in love with and can’t be with. My heart, yes, is still beating but with each beat, with each breath, I feel this awful pain, this tearing of heart. You see, right this minute I should be sat watching some soppy film on TV, curled up on the sofa, our dog curled in my legs, fleece blankets, a glass of wine and kisses… glorious soft warm kisses shared between us. Instead I’m sat looking at my phone, looking into his eyes, those gorgeous brown eyes that make me go weak. (sigh) See, a week ago I flew to be with the man of my dreams. Because of an error on my passport, not one of either of our making, I was turned back at border control. As I say it was nothing I could do… nothing I did wrong… and for that reason I’m not with my love. This pain is very real. I’ve fought tears back all day from the cruelty of this. We have been through so much to get together and yet still fate twists the knife in my heart some more.
I will never give up on us because we both feel our love is strong, unique and very beautiful. So, yes, as I lay on my lonely bed wanting more than anything to be held in the arms of the man I love, when you see your loved ones hold them tight because right now there’s this huge hole in my chest, this uncontrollable pain I feel for want of my man. If you hear a sound of something breaking it’s just my heart. I love you Jess xx
My American Man In Purple Lace Corsets 