Preface ii: Food hugs

As you get to know me, you will learn of my great loves in my life. Firstly my children, then my first big love: Jess. After my gorgeous American comes, drum roll… or should that be Swiss roll (kind of cake for those countries that don’t have them) my love of food is huge folks. I make no apologies. Throughout life’s trials and tribulations food has been a constant.

The last few days have been hell. I will fill you in with it gradually. Can’t tell you all the juicy stuff at once. I’ve woken two days in a row depressed. Today there were tears… couldn’t stop it… didn’t try. Last night I ate a whole box of French Fancies, tiny little morsels of cakey delight, covered in fondant of pink, yellow or chocolate. Yes I’m ashamed to say the whole box got eaten. I was saving some for today, but anxiety reared its ugly head and before I knew it, one after the other, tiny bites of gorgeousness sacrificed themselves by jumping into my mouth. They died a delicious, I mean noble death. I would say I felt guilty after, but do you know what?… I really didn’t. Those sweet little things went down a treat. I savoured every last crumb, every tender bite. It was almost as good as one of Jesse’s kisses. Note the ‘almost’. Today I woke again, that awful malaise over me, so I thought ‘Treez, just go for it girl‘. I let the tears wash over me. Went downstairs, washed up, so at least now I smell vaguely human… well, of lemon source anyhow. Made a sandwich of whatever was in. Going out right now, being just too much to cope with. Not up to peopling right now. May either cry all over them or tell them politely, of course, to fluff off. Anyhow, today’s delight in-between the bread slices, was Philadelphia and mayonnaise. Ok, no cordon bleu but, hey, it worked. Washed down with best bottled co-op 2019 fizzy water, followed by After Eights. Sorry, honey, one of your bags volunteered to be my next victim. But were they good! Hell yeah!! Am I still depressed, low? ‘Course yes. Do I regret eating either of these? No way! Both were blooming good. Both hit the spot. I’m still shaking with nerves, but also I’ve no regrets. As I say the past few days or even a year really have been tough.